INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF SOCIAL SCIENCE HUMANITY & MANAGEMENT RESEARCH
ISSN (p in ) 2833-2172, ISSN (online) 2833-2180
Volume 04 Issue 10 Oc obe 2025
Impac Fac o : 6.79 ,10.58806/ijsshm .2025 4i10n06DOI:
Page No. 1902-1910
IJSSHMR, Volume 04 Issue 10 Oc obe 2025 www.ijsshm .com Page 1902
An Analysis o Common E o s in English Essay W i ing by S uden s a Thu
Dau Mo Uni e si y
T inh Huynh Chan
Thu Dau Mo Uni e si y
ABSTRACT: Essay w i ing is a undamen al academic skill c ucial o s uden s' success ac oss a ious disciplines. Al hough i s
signi icance is widely ecognized, s uden s o en ace challenges ha can comp omise he o e all quali y o hei essays. This a icle
in es iga es he common e o s ha s uden s equen ly make in essay w i ing, such as poo ly cons uc ed hesis s a emen s,
unde de eloped a gumen s, insu icien e idence, and o ganiza ional issues. By combining heo e ical explo a ion wi h empi ical
analysis, he a icle aims o p o ide a comp ehensi e unde s anding o hese e o s and p opose p ac ical solu ions o imp o emen .
We will u ilize esea ch indings, educa ional heo ies, and insigh s om eaching p ac ices o cla i y how hese mis akes a ec
essay quali y. Addi ionally, we will o e ac ionable ips o help s uden s enhance hei w i ing abili ies. Iden i ying and add essing
hese common pi alls is essen ial no only o imp o ing indi idual w i ing skills bu also o con ibu ing o s uden s' b oade
academic success. This a icle se es as a guide o bo h s uden s and educa o s, o e ing a oad map o be e w i ing. Th ough a
de ailed examina ion o hese equen mis akes and a discussion o e ec i e s a egies o a oiding hem, we seek o suppo
s uden s in de eloping s onge w i ing habi s. By wo king oge he , s uden s and eache s can add ess hese issues, e ine hei
w i ing p ac ices, and achie e highe s anda ds o academic excellence.
KEYWORDS: Essay W i ing E o s, E o Analysis, Essay O ganiza ion, Thesis S a emen
INTRODUCTION
Essay w i ing is a co ne s one o academic success, se ing as a p ima y me hod h ough which s uden s demons a e hei
unde s anding, c i ical hinking, and abili y o communica e e ec i ely. Despi e i s signi icance, many s uden s s uggle wi h a ious
aspec s o essay w i ing, esul ing in common e o s ha hinde he o e all quali y o hei wo k. Unde s anding hese e o s is
c ucial o bo h s uden s and educa o s in imp o ing w i ing skills and achie ing academic success.
One o he mos c i ical componen s o an essay is he hesis s a emen . The hesis s a emen is mean o clea ly p esen he main
a gumen o poin o he essay and p o ide a oad map o he eade . A well-cons uc ed hesis s a emen is speci ic, deba able, and
indica i e o he essay’s di ec ion. Howe e , s uden s o en s uggle wi h c ea ing a s ong hesis, esul ing in essays ha lack ocus
and cohe ence.
Ano he common issue is weak a gumen de elopmen . E ec i e essays equi e s uden s o cons uc a gumen s ha a e no only
logically sound bu also well-suppo ed wi h e idence. Many s uden s ha e di icul y de eloping hei a gumen s ully, leading o
essays ha a e unde de eloped o lack dep h. This can a ec he pe suasi eness o hei essays and hei abili y o engage eade s
e ec i ely.
Inadequa e e idence is closely linked o a gumen de elopmen . Essays should p esen e idence ha is ele an , su icien , and
well-explained o suppo he claims made. S uden s equen ly make e o s in p o iding e idence, such as using i ele an o
insu icien sou ces, o ailing o in eg a e e idence e ec i ely in o hei a gumen s. This can unde mine he c edibili y o hei
essays and weaken hei o e all a gumen .
O ganiza ional p oblems a e ano he equen issue in s uden essays. A clea and logical s uc u e is essen ial o guiding he eade
h ough he essay's a gumen . Common o ganiza ional issues include disjoin ed pa ag aphs, lack o logical low be ween ideas, and
ine ec i e ansi ions. These p oblems can make an essay di icul o ollow and de ac om i s o e all e ec i eness.
This a icle aims o explo e hese common e o s in dep h, o e ing a heo e ical backg ound, me hodological insigh s, and p ac ical
indings o suppo s uden s and educa o s in imp o ing essay w i ing skills. By add essing hese issues, he s udy seeks o enhance
s uden s’ w i ing abili ies and con ibu e o hei academic success.
An Analysis o Common E o s in English Essay W i ing by S uden s a Thu Dau Mo Uni e si y
IJSSHMR, Volume 04 Issue 10 Oc obe 2025 www.ijsshm .com Page 1903
LITERATURE REVIEW
Unde s anding common e o s in essay w i ing equi es explo ing a ious heo e ical amewo ks ha unde pin e ec i e w i ing
p ac ices. These heo ies o e insigh s in o he essen ial componen s o s ong essay w i ing and help iden i y a eas whe e s uden s
o en s uggle.
1. De ini ion o e o
Many analys s ha e di e en de ini ions abou e o s. Chan e al (1982) de ined an e o as he use o a linguis ic i em in a way ha
indica es aul y o incomple e lea ning o lea ne s. Lennon (1991) s a es ha e o is a linguis ic o m which is no usually made by
he na i e speake s. No ish (1987) de ined an e o as a sys ema ic de ia ion ha happens when a lea ne has no lea n some hing
and o en makes e o when w i ing. F om my iewpoin , mis ake is a usage ha is inco ec due o he w i e ’s ca elessness, a igue
o lack o a en ion. I is ela ed o a lea ne ’s pe o mance. E o is a usage ha is inco ec due o he w i e ’s incomple e o alse
knowledge. I is ela ed o a lea ne ’s compe ence.
The e a e h ee main ypes o e o s ha we o en ind in s uden composi ions. They a e lexical e o s, g amma ical e o s and
discou se using e o s. Acco ding o Mea a (1984) and G aube g (1971), he language which p oduced by o eign language lea ne s
ine i ably con ains a ious ypes o e o s and English is no an excep ion. I is conside ed he p ocess o lea ning a language. E o s
a e commi ed by he second language lea ne s because hey do no ha e an adequa e amoun o knowledge o he language hey
lea n. Simila ly, Allw igh and Bailey (1991), s a e ha e o is he p oduc ion o a linguis ic o m ha de ia es om he co ec
o m na i e speake s p oduce. Howe e , i e o s p oduced by lea ne s happen oo equen ly, hey signi ican ly a ec he quali y
o academic w i ing (As ika 1993; Engbe 1995). Ca e (1998) sugges s ha mis akes in lexical selec ion may be less gene ously
ole a ed ou side class ooms han mis akes in syn ax. The English language which is p oduced by Vie namese s uden s also con ains
e o s o a ious ypes. Do s uden s make e o s because hey a e a ec ed by hei mo he ongue? Co de (1992) commen s ha
mo he ongue plays a ole in he cogni i e p ocess o L2 language lea ning and language use.
2. The Role o he Thesis S a emen
The hesis s a emen is a undamen al elemen o an essay, se ing as he cen al claim o a gumen ha he essay is designed o
suppo . Acco ding o Bax e (2008), a hesis s a emen should be speci ic, a guable, and indica i e o he main poin s ha will be
discussed in he essay. A clea and ocused hesis p o ides di ec ion and cohe ence, allowing he eade o unde s and he essay’s
pu pose and he a gumen being made.
Toulmin’s model o a gumen a ion (1958) u he suppo s he impo ance o a well-c a ed hesis s a emen . In his model, he
hesis unc ions as he cen al claim, suppo ed by e idence and easoning. The model emphasizes he need o a clea claim,
suppo ed by g ounds (e idence) and wa an s (jus i ica ions), which aligns wi h he ole o he hesis in guiding he essay’s
a gumen .
3. A gumen De elopmen and Logical S uc u e
E ec i e a gumen de elopmen elies on p inciples o logic and cohe ence. The Toulmin model (1958) highligh s he impo ance
o logical easoning, e idence, and wa an s in cons uc ing a pe suasi e a gumen . A s ong a gumen should be well- easoned,
wi h clea connec ions be ween he claim, e idence, and jus i ica ion.
A is o le’s he o ical appeals—e hos, pa hos, and logos—also p o ide a heo e ical ounda ion o e ec i e a gumen a ion.
Acco ding o A is o le (350 BCE), a success ul a gumen should appeal o c edibili y (e hos), emo ions (pa hos), and logic (logos).
In essay w i ing, his means p esen ing a gumen s ha a e c edible, emo ionally engaging, and logically sound.
S uc u al heo ies o w i ing also emphasize he impo ance o o ganiza ion. Williams (2003) ou lines he essen ial componen s o
a well-o ganized essay, including a clea in oduc ion, body pa ag aphs, and conclusion. Each sec ion o he essay should se e a
speci ic pu pose and be logically connec ed o ensu e cohe ence and cla i y.
4. The Use o E idence
E idence is c ucial o subs an ia ing a gumen s and enhancing he c edibili y o an essay. Becke (1998) emphasizes he impo ance
o ele an , su icien , and clea ly explained e idence. E ec i e use o e idence in ol es selec ing app op ia e sou ces, in eg a ing
e idence in o he a gumen , and explaining i s ele ance o he hesis.
Common e o s in e idence use include p o iding i ele an o insu icien e idence, ailing o p ope ly ci e sou ces, and no clea ly
explaining he connec ion be ween e idence and he a gumen . These issues can weaken he o e all a gumen and de ac om he
essay’s c edibili y.
5. O ganiza ional S a egies
O ganiza ional s a egies a e undamen al o e ec i e essay w i ing. Acco ding o s uc u al heo ies o w i ing, an essay should
ha e a clea and logical s uc u e, including an in oduc ion, body pa ag aphs, and a conclusion (Williams, 2003). Each sec ion
should be o ganized o guide he eade h ough he essay’s a gumen .
An Analysis o Common E o s in English Essay W i ing by S uden s a Thu Dau Mo Uni e si y
IJSSHMR, Volume 04 Issue 10 Oc obe 2025 www.ijsshm .com Page 1904
Common o ganiza ional issues include disjoin ed pa ag aphs, lack o logical low be ween sec ions, and ine ec i e ansi ions.
These p oblems can make an essay di icul o ollow and diminish i s o e all e ec i eness. E ec i e o ganiza ional s a egies
in ol e c ea ing a cohe en s uc u e, using clea ansi ions, and ensu ing a logical p og ession o ideas.
6. Common W i ing E o s
Common w i ing e o s include g amma ical mis akes, poo sen ence s uc u e, and ine ec i e use o ansi ional ph ases. Ha is
(2006) emphasizes he impo ance o clea and co ec w i ing mechanics in ensu ing e ec i e communica ion. Unde s anding hese
common e o s helps in de eloping s a egies o e ision and imp o emen .
G amma ical e o s, such as subjec - e b ag eemen issues, inco ec punc ua ion, and sen ence agmen s, can de ac om he
o e all eadabili y and p o essionalism o an essay. Add essing hese e o s in ol es ca e ul p oo eading and a en ion o w i ing
mechanics.
METHODOLOGY
This s udy employs a mixed-me hods app oach o analyze common e o s in s uden essay w i ing. By combining quali a i e and
quan i a i e me hods, he esea ch p o ides a comp ehensi e iew o he issues and iden i ies e ec i e s a egies o imp o emen .
1. Da a Collec ion
Da a we e collec ed h ough wo p ima y me hods: essay analysis and s uden su eys. A sample o 300 essays om unde g adua e
s uden s ac oss a ious disciplines was analyzed o iden i y common e o s. The essays we e selec ed o ensu e a di e se ange o
opics and w i ing quali y.
2. Quali a i e Analysis
Quali a i e analysis in ol ed a de ailed examina ion o he essays o iden i y ecu ing e o s in hesis s a emen s, a gumen
de elopmen , e idence use, and o ganiza ional s uc u e. Essays we e coded o common issues, and hemes we e ex ac ed o
unde s and he na u e and equency o hese e o s. This analysis p o ided insigh s in o speci ic a eas whe e s uden s commonly
s uggle.
3. Quan i a i e Analysis
Quan i a i e da a we e ga he ed h ough su eys adminis e ed o bo h s uden s and ins uc o s. The su eys included ques ions abou
pe cei ed di icul ies in essay w i ing and common challenges aced by s uden s. S a is ical analysis was used o iden i y ends and
co ela ions be ween s uden pe cep ions and ac ual w i ing e o s.
4. E alua ion C i e ia
Essays we e e alua ed based on es ablished c i e ia, including cla i y o hesis, cohe ence o a gumen , e ec i eness o e idence
in eg a ion, and o e all o ganiza ional s uc u e. A ub ic was de eloped o assess each aspec o he essays consis en ly and eliably.
5. Da a Analysis
Da a om bo h quali a i e and quan i a i e sou ces we e analyzed o iden i y pa e ns and commonali ies. The analysis aimed o
p o ide a comp ehensi e unde s anding o he p e alence o speci ic e o s and he ac o s con ibu ing o hese issues. The indings
we e used o de elop ecommenda ions o imp o ing essay w i ing skills.
RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
Essay o ganiza ion
A pe ec essay usually has an imp essi e in oduc ion, well-o ganized con en , and a powe ul conclusion. Bad college essays o en
lack s uc u e o con en and do no imp ess he eade . Some lea ne s do no know how o make hei essays mo e imp essi e
because o lacking one o hese pa s. P e ious esea ch has shown ha he o ganiza ion o an essay is usually made up o a hesis
s a emen , h ee o mo e suppo ing pa ag aphs and a concluding pa ag aph. In o de o make ou essay mo e con incing, we need
o p esen a well-s uc u ed piece o w i ing. Acco ding o Co de (1982), an essay should include h ee pa s: In oduc ion, Body
and Conclusion. The w i e needs o be clea abou wha elemen s he should include wi hin hese h ee sec ions o an essay. We also
need o be clea abou he unc ion o each o hese essay sec ions. S uden s in he Facul y o Fo eign Language also make his kind
o e o s while w i ing. In my opinion, when we make ex s uc u e e o s, we will no be able o con ey ou meaning e ec i ely.
The e o e, s uden s should pay a en ion o his poin . The able below ou lines he elemen s o an essay.
An Analysis o Common E o s in English Essay W i ing by S uden s a Thu Dau Mo Uni e si y
IJSSHMR, Volume 04 Issue 10 Oc obe 2025 www.ijsshm .com Page 1905
Table 1. The elemen s o an essay
In oduc ion
-
Gene al s a emen o he opic
-
Thesis s a emen
-
B ie summa y o he main opic o a gumen s made in he essay
Body pa ag aphs
1. Pa ag aph 1
Topic sen ence A
suppo ing sen ence 1
suppo ing sen ence 2
suppo ing sen ence 3
Concluding sen ence A
2. Pa ag aph 2
Topic sen ence B
suppo ing sen ence 1
suppo ing sen ence 2
suppo ing sen ence 3
Concluding sen ence B
3. Pa ag aph 3
Topic sen ence C
suppo ing sen ence 1
suppo ing sen ence 2
suppo ing sen ence 3
Concluding sen ence C
The suppo ing sen ences suppo ,
expand o explain he main poin made
in he opic sen ence
Conclusion
Res a emen o summa y o he main poin s made in he body pa ag aphs and a inal
commen
1. Thesis s a emen
A hesis s a emen , which o e s a concise summa y o he main poin o claim o he essay, esea ch pape , e c. usually appea s a
he end o he in oduc o y pa ag aph o an essay. The hesis s a emen is de eloped, suppo ed, and explained by means o examples
and e idence. Thesis s a emen s help o ganize and de elop he sys em o p ope w i ing. They a e essen ial componen s o schola ly
esea ch pape s. In o he wo ds, he hesis s a emen which ells he opic o each pa ag aph in he body o he essay, communica es
he main idea o an essay and ells he eade wha he au ho is going o show o p o e. I is he mos speci ic idea in he in oduc ion.
One o he mos p e alen issues iden i ied in he essays was he p esence o weak o unclea hesis s a emen s. Many s uden s
s uggled wi h c a ing a speci ic and deba able hesis, esul ing in essays ha lacked ocus and cohe ence. Common p oblems
included ague language, ailu e o p esen a clea a gumen , and insu icien speci ici y. Essays wi h weak hesis s a emen s o en
had an unclea di ec ion, making i challenging o eade s o unde s and he main a gumen . Fo example, a hesis like "Many
people belie e ha clima e change is a p oblem" lacks speci ici y and does no p esen a clea a gumen . A s onge hesis would
be, "Clima e change is a c i ical issue ha equi es immedia e ac ion due o i s se e e impac on global ecosys ems and human
heal h."
Table 2. E o s abou he hesis s a emen in he s uden s’ essays
E o s abou hesis s a emen s in he
s uden s’ essays
E o s in
essays o
g oup 1
E o s in essays
o g oup 2
E o s in
essays o
g oup 3
To al
Ra e
(%)
Success ul hesis s a emen
48
47
50
145
48.3
Unsuccess ul hesis s a emen
30
35
32
97
32.3
No hesis s a emen
22
18
18
58
19.4
To al
100
100
100
300
100
F om he Table 1, i can be seen ha he e a e 145 essays s a ing wi h a success ul hesis s a emen , aking he p opo ion o 48.3 %.
Using unsuccess ul hesis s a emen s akes he p opo ion o 32.3% wi h 97 essays. The numbe o essays wi hou hesis s a emen s
is 58. Below a e some o he s uden s’ essays which do no ha e any hesis s a emen s.
An Analysis o Common E o s in English Essay W i ing by S uden s a Thu Dau Mo Uni e si y
IJSSHMR, Volume 04 Issue 10 Oc obe 2025 www.ijsshm .com Page 1906
(1) Nowadays many people ha e cellphones. Cellphone is a g ea mean o communica ion o iends, amily and socie y o connec
oge he . Cellphones help us o keep in ouch wi h ou iends. We can use Facebook, Zalo in cellphones o cha wi h ou old iends
and o make he acquain ance o ou new iends. Mo eo e , i can help us o exchange exe cises wi h g oups as we can send mail
o iends when we need. In addi ion, cellphones help o ake a pho og aph o iends when we go o he picnic. Besides, cellphones
is also help us o con ac wi h ou amily. Fo example, when we go o school o s ay away om ou house, cellphones can help us
connec wi h ou amily. I helps us o know abou somebody’s heal h in amily. Wi h socie y, cellphones help us o sea ch o
necessa y in o ma ion o s udy such as we can lea n English on he in e ne by downloading English da a o upda ed new sho
news e e y day. Howe e , using cellphones oo much will a ec use ’s heal h…
(2) Wi h oday’s g owing indus y o en e ainmen echnology, you can wa ch mo ies on TV o iew i in a hea e. The e a e many
di e en be ween wa ching a mo ie on TV o iewing i in a hea e. Com o is always impo an in o de o enjoy a mo ie. A
hea e don’ o e a lo o com o o he audience because in he cinema a end many people and i is p obable ha he e would be
dis ac o s like noise, cellphone inging among o he s ha may almos impossible a o al com o du ing he mo ie. Con e sely,
mo ies on TV has he ad an age ha is so p i a e wi h a silen en i onmen . Mo eo e , you can lie down you bed and es …
(3) Do you p e e wa ching a mo ie on ele ision o iewing i in a hea e? Some people p e e wa ching a mo ie on ele ision,
o he s like wa ching i in a hea e. In my opinion, he e a e h ee majo di e ences when you wa ch a mo ie a home compa ing
wi h wa ching i in a hea e. They a e he eeling, quali y and ee. The i s di e en hing is he eedom and com o . You can eel
com o able when wa ching a mo ie on ele ision han iewing i in a hea e. You may lie down on he so a, speak and smile wi h
you amily o iends who seeing a mo ie wi h you a home. Con e sely, you ha e o a end he ules o he hea e. You a e no
allowed o use cellphones and smoke while s aying in he p ojec ion oom. Fu he mo e, you can miss he plo hicken o he ilm
when going o he oile . You also eel mo e u h ul when wa ching a mo ie a home han iewing i in he hea e. The ee is also
ano he di e en hing. Fo example, wi h he same ilm, wa ching a home you need o en DVD which spending 50.000 VND.
Bu you go o he cinema wi h you iend you ha e o buy wo icke s wi h 150.000 VND. The ee o seeing a mo ie a home is
wice cheape han iewing i in he hea e. I you see a mo ie a home, you can sa e a lo o money…
The i s wo essays abo e lack hesis s a emen s. I is di icul o he eade o ge o he poin o w i ing. The essays do no ell
he eade wha he au ho is going o show o p o e. In he ex ac (3), al hough he hesis s a emen is no e y s ong, i can
communica e he main idea and ell he eade wha he au ho is going o show o p o e. I also in o ms he eade s on he opic
o each pa ag aph in he body o he essay. The eade will know ha he w i e is going o w i e abou he eeling, quali y and ee
ha people will ace when hey go o he cinema o see mo ies o wa ch hem a home.
2. O ganiza ion o suppo ing pa ag aphs in an essay
Raja anun (1988) s a es ha a pa ag aph is a uni o w i ing which exp esses one cen al idea and consis s o wo kinds o sen ences:
opic sen ence and suppo ing sen ences. Jayaka an (2005) a gued ha he basic uni o any w i ing such as a composi ion, an a icle,
o a sho s o y is he pa ag aph. A pa ag aph con ains some sen ences ha expand he main basic idea. Addi ionally, O’Donnell
and Pai a (1993) p o ided mo e de ails abou he essen ial pa s o pa ag aph w i ing. A good pa ag aph includes a opic sen ence,
suppo ing sen ences, de ails, logical o de s, logical connec o s, and a concluding sen ence. Finally, many pa ag aphs can be
combined in o an essay. An essay is a collec ion o pa ag aphs ha p esen s ac s, opinions and ideas on a opic. Richa ds (2010)
s a es ha essay is a piece o w i ing ha analyses and e alua es a opic o an issue. I is a piece o w i ing which is w i en om he
au ho ’s pe sonal dimension.
The w i e mus decide how many pa ag aphs need o be explained in he hesis. Any essay mus be o ganized in a leas ou
pa ag aphs wi h he in oduc ion, conclusion and wo pa ag aphs o he main body. The w i e mus conside i each body pa ag aph
in he essay de elops a pa o he hesis o no . Does each pa ag aph ha e good examples and enough suppo ing sen ences? Do
he suppo ing sen ences which expand he main idea o he pa ag aph p o ide e idence, de ails, o in o ma ion abou he opic
sen ence? The well-o ganiza ion o he suppo ing pa ag aphs can make he essay become uni y and cohe ence. Uni y in w i ing is
he connec ion o all ideas o a single opic. In an essay all ideas should ela e o he hesis s a emen , and he suppo ing ideas in a
main body pa ag aph should ela e o he opic sen ence. Fo example, i you essay is abou he ad an ages o Facebook, you should
discuss only ha . You do no need o alk abou he disad an ages. When all he suppo ing sen ences e e o he main idea, o he
opic o he pa ag aph, he pa ag aph has uni y. I he pa ag aph has uni y, he essay also has uni y. On he o he hand, i a pa ag aph
con ains a sen ence o some sen ences ha a e no ela ed o he main opic, i lacks uni y and he essay does no ha e uni y, ei he .
Cohe ence is ela ed o uni y. Ideas ha a e a anged in a clea and logical way a e cohe en . The pu pose o cohe ence is o help
he eade s unde s and he main poin s. A cohe ence pa ag aph means ha he suppo ing sen ences should be o ganized in a logical
manne and should ollow a de ini e plan o de elopmen . Some essay pa ag aphs o he s uden s ha e uni y and cohe ence, bu
o he s lack hese wo c i e ia. The able below desc ibes he use o o ganiza ion o suppo ing pa ag aphs in he s uden s’ essays.
An Analysis o Common E o s in English Essay W i ing by S uden s a Thu Dau Mo Uni e si y
IJSSHMR, Volume 04 Issue 10 Oc obe 2025 www.ijsshm .com Page 1907
Table 3. E o s abou he o ganiza ion o suppo ing pa ag aphs
E o s abou he o ganiza ion o
suppo ing pa ag aphs
E o s in essays
o g oup 1
E o s in essays
o g oup 2
E o s in essays
o g oup 3
To al
Ra e
(%)
Uni y and cohe ence
62
56
59
177
59
Lack uni y and cohe ence
38
44
41
123
41
To al
100
100
100
300
100
I can be seen in Table 2, he o ganiza ion o suppo ing pa ag aphs in he s uden s’ essays lacking uni y and cohe ence is 41%. The
o al numbe o essays con aining pa ag aphs wi h good uni y and cohe ence is 177. In some cases, some sen ences o he essays do
no ela e o he opic sen ence o he hesis s a emen . The ollowing examples p o e his:
(1) Cellphones educe he amily ela ionship. Many people ha e li le ime o pa en s and g andpa en s. Acco ding o a ecen
s a is ics, he e a e abou ou billion people using cellphones in he wo ld. Many people use sell phones. They do no ha e ime o
wa ch ele ision. TV does no a ac hem anymo e. Cellphones make people depend on hem. In ecen yea s, we can easily see
many people in he co ee shops wi h cellphones on hei hand. They ga he o alk o wi h each o he bu hei eyes always look a
hei phones.
(2) Knowing a lo o academic ocabula y is e y impo an in lea ning English, bu i is no easy o s udy academic ocabula y.
The e a e some ways in o de o imp o e ou academic ocabula y. Fi s o all, we mus ha e a good dic iona y. Nowadays,
dic iona y is no expensi e a all. I helps us o look up he new wo ds and o know how o ead i . Bu I hink we should guess he
meaning o new wo ds be o e we look i up in ou dic iona y. This way will help us o emembe new wo ds in a long ime. Secondly,
mos people ha e a bad habi , we always ansla e English in o ou mo he ongue when we ead an English sen ence. To imp o e
be e ou academic ocabula y, we mus b eak ha bad habi . Mo eo e , we should s udy he whole sen ence ins ead o s udying
each simple wo d. This is a good way o enla ge ou academic ocabula y. We also need o lea n g amma when we lea n English.
In he abo e wo ex ac s, he s uden s gi e i ele an ideas o suppo he main iewpoin s al hough he opic sen ences a e clea .
In ex ac (1) he opic he e is how “cellphones educe he amily ela ionship” bu he s uden s w o e sen ences wi hou ela ing o
he main idea: “They do no ha e ime o wa ch ele ision. TV does no a ac hem any mo e”. These wo sen ences a e no ela ed
o he opic o he essay.
As he same way o de eloping suppo ing de ails in he ex ac (2), he sen ence “Nowadays, dic iona y is no expensi e a all” and
he sen ence. “We also need o lea n g amma when we lea n English” dig ess om he opic. The e o e, i is conside ed o be
inadequa ely de eloped. As a esul , he pa ag aph (2) was incohe en .
3. Weak A gumen De elopmen
Ano he signi ican inding was he p e alence o weak a gumen de elopmen . Many essays demons a ed unde de eloped
a gumen s, cha ac e ized by insu icien explana ion and lack o logical p og ession. Common issues included unsuppo ed claims,
ague easoning, and ailu e o add ess coun e a gumen s.
Fo ins ance, an essay a guing ha "Social media has a nega i e impac on men al heal h" may p esen only anecdo al e idence
wi hou explo ing he b oade esea ch o coun e a gumen s. E ec i e a gumen de elopmen in ol es p esen ing well- easoned
a gumen s suppo ed by e idence and add essing po en ial coun e a gumen s o s eng hen he o e all a gumen .
4. Inadequa e E idence
The use o e idence was ano he a ea o conce n. S uden s equen ly p o ided e idence ha was ei he i ele an , insu icien , o
no well-in eg a ed in o hei a gumen s. Common p oblems included ailu e o explain he ele ance o e idence, eliance on
anecdo al o un eliable sou ces, and inadequa e ci a ion p ac ices.
Fo example, an essay claiming ha "Exe cise imp o es cogni i e unc ion" migh use a single, ou da ed s udy as e idence wi hou
conside ing mo e ecen esea ch o explaining how he e idence suppo s he claim. E ec i e use o e idence equi es selec ing
ele an sou ces, in eg a ing e idence in o he a gumen , and p o iding clea explana ions o i s ele ance.
5. Concluding pa ag aph
A concluding pa ag aph is he las pa ag aph in an academic essay. I gene ally summa izes he essay, p esen s he main idea o he
essay, o gi es an o e all solu ion o a p oblem o an a gumen gi en in he essay. Fi s , he concluding pa ag aph will es a e he
hesis s a emen o he essay o emphasize he main poin . Nex , i will ou line he main poin s o he essay. Finally, i will lea e he
eade wi h a mo al o lesson o some kind ela ed o he opic o he essay. S uden s a Thu Dau Mo Uni e si y made e o s when
hey w i e he conclusion. The ollowing able illus a es his issue.
An Analysis o Common E o s in English Essay W i ing by S uden s a Thu Dau Mo Uni e si y
IJSSHMR, Volume 04 Issue 10 Oc obe 2025 www.ijsshm .com Page 1908
Table 4. E o s abou he concluding pa ag aph in he s uden s’ essays
Concluding pa ag aph
E o s in essays
o g oup 1
E o s in essays
o g oup 2
E o s in essays
o g oup 3
To al
Ra e (%)
Clea concluding pa ag aphs
42
46
47
135
45
Unclea concluding pa ag aphs
58
54
53
165
55
To al
100
100
100
300
100
Table 3 indica es ha he e is 45% o he s uden s’ essays con aining a clea concluding pa ag aph. The numbe o he essays wi h
an unclea concluding pa ag aph occu s a a high a e (wi h 55%), which shows ha many s uden s we e no able o summa ize he
con en hey p esen ed in hei essays. Below is an example in which s uden s do no ha e a clea concluding pa ag aph:
“All cellphones ha e some disad an ages. We spend a lo o ime using cellphones so we do no ha e ime o ou amily and iends
such as playing ou doo ac i i ies oge he . Al hough we can call o somebody and see hei images, we do no eel less happy when
we mee hem di ec ly. The e is no denying ha cellphones ha e changed he way ela e o each o he in good ways. Howe e ,
people should keep and de elop ela ions wi h di ec communica ion.”
Ob iously, in his ex ac , he s uden did no w i e he concluding sen ence. The s uden seemed o de elop ano he opic by w i ing
“Howe e , people should keep and de elop ela ions wi h di ec communica ion.” Lack o he concluding sen ence o he concluding
pa ag aph his essay w i e makes he eade eel ha he essay is un inished and he eade can expec some mo e de ails. In o he
wo ds, he w i e does no seem o sum up he main idea o he essay, so he eade does no hink ha he essay s ops he e.
F om wha has been p esen ed up o now, i is clea ha w i ing a good essay is a he di icul o g ea a numbe o s uden s. I is
likely ha some o hem a e unable o o ganize he s uc u e o an essay and o de elop he suppo ing ideas in o de o achie e
cohe ence excellen ly.
CONCLUSION
This s udy has iden i ied se e al common e o s in s uden essay w i ing, including issues wi h hesis s a emen s, a gumen
de elopmen , e idence use, and o ganiza ion. By unde s anding hese e o s and hei impac on essay quali y, bo h s uden s and
educa o s can ake s eps o imp o e w i ing skills and achie e be e academic ou comes.
Add essing common e o s in essay w i ing in ol es ocusing on se e al key a eas: c a ing a clea and speci ic hesis s a emen ,
de eloping well- easoned a gumen s suppo ed by adequa e e idence, and o ganizing he essay e ec i ely. Addi ionally, a en ion
o g amma and w i ing mechanics is c ucial o ensu ing cla i y and p o essionalism.
Educa o s play a i al ole in guiding s uden s h ough hese challenges by p o iding a ge ed eedback, ins uc ional suppo , and
esou ces o imp o emen . By add essing hese common e o s, s uden s can de elop s onge essays, enhance hei w i ing skills,
and achie e g ea e academic success.
Acco ding o he esea ch esul , he s uden s in Thu Dau Mo Uni e si y ace h ee kinds o p oblems in w i ing. They a e inadequa e
lea ning o g amma ules and ocabula y, inadequa e lea ning o w i ing essays and also s uggle wi h he in e e ence o hei
mo he ongue - Vie namese. In o de o help s uden s a oid commi ing e o s while w i ing essays, he esea che ga e his esea ch
esul o i een ins uc o s o he Facul y o Fo eign Languages a Thu Dau Mo Uni e si y so ha hey could s udy o wo weeks.
When he equi ed ime was o e , he esea che me hese eache s again and equi ed hem o answe he wo ques ions. The i s
ques ion is “A e eading my esea ch esul s, acco ding o you, wha causes he ypes o e o s in s uden s’ w i ing essays?”. The
second ques ion is: “When you ead my esea ch esul , can you ecommend some me hods o ou s uden s o a oiding e o s while
w i ing essays?” A e ha ing he answe s o hese eache s, he esea che summa ized hese sugges ions and used hem o u u e
eaching.
Making e o s in essay w i ing is a common p oblem o he s uden s in he Facul y o o eign Languages in Thu Dau Mo Uni e si y.
The analysis o e o s in he 300 English essays o s uden s gi es me an o e iew abou he English lea ning as well as English
w i ing o hese s uden s. Many s uden s do no know how o o ganize hei w i ings. The e o e, he eache should each hem how
o w i e an essay wi h h ee main pa s: in oduc ion, body pa ag aph and conclusion. Fo each pa ag aph s uden mus w i e a opic
sen ence, suppo ing sen ences and a concluding sen ence. In o de o o ganize cohe en pa ag aphs o essays, s uden s should use
some o he ollowing ansi ions such as “and”, “bu ”, “besides”, “ u he mo e”, “in addi ion”, “mo eo e ”, “ i s ”, “second”,
“ hi d”, “nex ”, “ inally”, “ o example”, “likewise”, “simila ly”, “al hough”, “despi e”, “in spi e o ”, “ye ”, “howe e ”, “in con as ”,
“o he wise”, “ he e o e”, “in conclusion”, “in sho ”, “in summa y”, “ne e heless”, “on he con a y”, “on he o he hand”, “in
o he wo ds”, “ o his eason”, e c. in hei w i ing. These ansi ions help o make hei essays mo e easily o unde s and and mo e
a ac i e o he eade .
An Analysis o Common E o s in English Essay W i ing by S uden s a Thu Dau Mo Uni e si y
IJSSHMR, Volume 04 Issue 10 Oc obe 2025 www.ijsshm .com Page 1909
In o de o w i e cohe en and well-s uc u ed essays, he w i e has o be c ea i e and concen a e on he con en . Fi s ly, lea ne s
should always w i e an essay wi h ele an ac s, conc e e de ails, and speci ic examples. They also need o ead he equi ed opic
o equi ed ques ion ca e ully be o e w i ing. To w i e mo e quickly, s uden s should lis he key wo ds hey in end o use in hei
w i ing a he beginning o he es . Secondly, each essay needs o ha e a s ong hesis s a emen . The hesis s a emen exp esses he
w i e ’s hough s on he opic and ells he eade how he opic is going o be de eloped. The e o e, w i e s should always suppo
hei hesis wi h hei own ideas in he main pa o he essay. While planning hei essay, hey should hink ca e ully and ask
hemsel es whe he hey ha e enough ideas o suppo hei hesis o no . Thi dly, in he conclusion pa , s uden s need o ake
ad an age o hei las chance o say some hing impo an o hei eade s such as emphasizing he pu pose and impo ance o wha
hey w o e in hei essay. Fou hly, some s uden s o en do no emembe ha an academic essay equi es he w i e o use ocabula y
which is no used in hei daily li e. The e o e, slang exp essions and nons anda d e b o ms should ne e be used in an academic
essay. Finally, a good essay should ne e con ain sen ences which a e oo long o oo sho . I hey use sen ences ha a e oo long,
hey make hei essay ha de o unde s and. On he o he hand, hey can des oy he logical de elopmen o hei idea i he sen ences
in hei essay a e oo sho . The e o e, lea ne s a e ad ised o use a good balance o bo h long and sho sen ences.
To sum up, knowledge o e o analysis is help ul o language pe o mance. I also imp o es a p ocess o eaching and lea ning
w i ing. I is clea ha s uden s’ abili y o communica e in w i ing will be be e i hey ecognize how o e ec i ely a oid e o s
and how o logically a ange in o ma ion. I is hoped ha he esul s o his hesis will be help ul o s uden s o inc ease hei
awa eness o he impo ance o w i ing in English so ha hey can imp o e hei w i ing skills. I is also hoped ha he esea ch
esul s will be help ul o English eache s o de elop e ec i e measu es o eaching he English w i ing skill o mee he needs o
AUN in eg a ion o Thu Dau Mo Uni e si y in gene al and he Depa men o Fo eign Languages in pa icula .
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