To Unde s and T auma Is o Choose No o
Rec ea e I : When Neu oscience Mee s
Expe ience
Mohammad Nasse
UCL Queen Squa e Ins i u e o Neu ology, Uni e si y College London, UK
mohammad.nasse [email p o ec ed]
h ps://o cid.o g/0009-0000-9846-5823
Keywo ds: T auma, Neu oscience, Neu oplas ici y, Empa hy, Gende , S ess Ci cui y,
Healing
Abs ac
This pe spec i e examines how unde s anding auma h ough neu oscience mus mo e beyond
explana ion o esponsibili y. D awing on esea ch in s ess ci cui y, neu oplas ici y, and social
egula ion, i explo es how he b ain encodes h ea and how sa e y can be elea ned h ough
consis en , compassiona e in e ac ion. Ye science alone canno cap u e he li ed eali y o
auma. I can map ea bu no meaning, quan i y a ousal bu no us . As bo h a neu oscien is
and a man, I e lec on how knowledge o auma’s mechanisms demands e hical awa eness,
pa icula ly o hose whose iden i ies ha e his o ically been associa ed wi h ha m. Healing,
iewed h ough his lens, becomes a o m o ela ional neu oscience: he co- egula ion o sa e y
be ween ne ous sys ems. Lis ening, consis ency, and es ain eme ge no as abs ac i ues
bu as biological in e en ions ha help ewi e he expe ience o ea . To unde s and auma,
he e o e, is no o mas e pain bu o ecognise he du y o ne e be i s cause again.
1
When he B ain Mee s he Human
The e comes a poin , o en in ea ly adul hood, when ela ionships begin o change. They shi
om no el y o meaning; s abili y and us s a o ma e mo e han in ensi y. Ye o many,
pa icula ly young women, hese expe iences a e shaped by auma. Violence and coe cion do
no only lea e psychological sca s; hey ecalib a e how he b ain pe cei es sa e y, lo e, and
isk. Fo hose o us who s udy he b ain, his in e sec ion be ween emo ion and biology is
impossible o igno e.
In medicine, auma once e e ed only o bodily inju y: a o n muscle, a ac u ed bone, a
lesion in neu al issue. Bu physical and psychological auma a ely exis in isola ion; hey
sha e pa hways, chemis y, and consequence. When an expe ience o e whelms a pe son’s
capaci y o cope, i ac u es no only he sense o sa e y bu he con inui y o sel .
Neu oscien i ically, auma e lec s he pe sis ence o h ea ci cui y in which he amygdala,
hippocampus, and p e on al co ex emain on high ale long a e dange has passed. The
body adap s o su i e, bu hose same adap a ions can make o dina y li e eel unsa e.
As a neu oscien is , much o my wo k un olds in a wo ld o o de and con ol. I measu e how
s ess al e s neu ons, how p o eins old and mis old, and how elec ical signals become
emo ion. Wi hin ha space, e e y hing appea s quan i iable, e en he mos human o ms o
dis ess. Ye he longe I s udy he b ain, he clea e i s limi s become. Science can map he
ci cui y o ea , bu i canno ell us wha i eels like o li e inside i . Each da a poin is a
agmen o a eali y ha numbe s alone canno hold.
Those heo ies ook on new meaning in he s o ies I hea d ou side he lab. Among people my
age, many ca y he weigh o auma in o new ela ionships. They desc ibe how expe iences
o assaul o coe cion eshape hei pe cep ion o in imacy, how hei bodies s ill eac o
memo ies long a e hei minds ha e ied o mo e on. Lis ening o hem, I ecognised amilia
mechanisms: hype igilance e lec ing amygdala o e ac i i y and emo ional wi hd awal
mi o ing he b ain’s a emp s a sel -p o ec ion. Wha I had once encoun e ed as da a became
li ing expe ience. Neu oscience, I ealised, does no only exis in he lab; i li es in he wo ld.
2
Tha ecogni ion aised a mo e di icul u h. Many men, e en well-in en ioned ones, do no
ully unde s and auma o how o espond o i . We end o imagine sa e y as he absence o
ha m, bu o su i o s, sa e y mus be ebuil h ough consis ency, p edic abili y, and empa hy.
Neu oscience helps explain why: auma eo ganises h ea ne wo ks, lowe ing he h eshold
o pe cei ed dange and making us i sel an ac o ulne abili y. Science can desc ibe he
eac ion, bu no he esponsibili y.
This pape is no a echnical epo bu a e lec ion linking neu al mechanisms wi h li ed
expe ience. I asks wha auma does o he b ain, how i eshapes us , and wha hose o us
who ha e no li ed i , pa icula ly men, can do o c ea e en i onmen s whe e sa e y is no
assumed bu ac i ely main ained.
3
The Scale o Violence
Violence is no an isola ed ac ; i is a ecu ing pa e n ha spans homes, communi ies, and
gene a ions. I is bo h global and in ima e, sus ained no only by hose who commi i bu also
by he silence o hose who look away. The s a is ics a e s agge ing, ye hei amilia i y has
dulled public sensi i i y. Numbe s ha should p o oke ou age o en ade in o he backg ound
o daily li e.
Acco ding o he Wo ld Heal h O ganiza ion, 1 in 3 women will expe ience physical o sexual
iolence in he li e ime, wi h e en highe a es in some egions. Ye hese igu es e eal only
pa o he u h. Behind hem a e coun less expe iences ha emain un epo ed: sub le
coe cions, h ea s disguised as humou , and iola ions ha lea e no isible ace. Many
su i o s minimise hei pain o ca y i quie ly, cons ained by ea o disbelie o blame. The
esul is a wo ld ha pe sis en ly unde es ima es he scale o ha m.
Violence has also e ol ed alongside echnology, inding new ways o each i s ic ims. Digi al
spaces ha e become ex ensions o eal-wo ld abuse h ough ha assmen , su eillance, image-
based iola ion, and public humilia ion. Fo many young people, pa icula ly women, auma
now begins no in a physical space bu h ough a sc een. The cons an accessibili y o con ac
blu s he bounda ies o sa e y and allows ea o a el beyond physical p oximi y.
Beyond i s social and psychological oll, iolence lea es biological ones. E e y ac o ha m
eshapes he neu al sys ems ha egula e emo ion, memo y, and us . Ch onic h ea main ains
he ne ous sys em in a s a e o heigh ened a ousal, making calm eel unna u al and sa e y
un amilia . Wha begins as sel -p o ec ion can become a habi ual mode o exis ence, a body
ha lea ns o expec pain e en in i s absence.
The scale o iolence is he e o e no only a mo al c isis bu a neu ological one. Each unhealed
wound con ibu es o a collec i e s a e o igilance ha ex ends ac oss amilies, gene a ions,
and socie ies. Unde s anding i s each demands mo e han empa hy; i equi es ecognising ha
auma is no an indi idual weakness, bu a public heal h eme gency encoded wi hin he b ain.
4
T acing he Neu al His o y o T auma
Violence lea es aces long a e b uises ade. I s memo y is s o ed no only in emo ion o s o y
bu in he ci cui y o he b ain. Fo cen u ies, his connec ion be ween li ed expe ience and
biology wen unseen. The mind was hough o su e in isola ion, i s pain dismissed as mo al
weakness o emo ional excess. Ye he same ac s ha ac u e sa e y and us also eshape he
ne ous sys em, al e ing how he b ain lea ns, emembe s, and esponds o he wo ld. To
unde s and auma as mo e han me apho , as some hing he body uly ca ies, we mus ace
how i came o be s udied, om he silence ha once su ounded i o he disco e ies ha
e ealed i s physical signa u e.
F om Silence o Disco e y: Ea ly Obse a ions o T auma
Fo mos o human his o y, auma exis ed long be o e he e was language o science o
desc ibe i . The su e ing ha ollowed iolence o abuse was o en misin e p e ed o igno ed.
Women we e labelled hys e ical, soldie s we e old o be b a e, and su i o s o assaul we e
u ged o mo e on. Wha is now ecognised as auma was iewed as weakness, sin, o
imagina ion, and he mind was blamed o wha he body could no explain.
Medicine and psychology s uggled o cen u ies o econcile isible wounds wi h in isible
ones. In he la e nine een h cen u y, Jean-Ma in Cha co and Sigmund F eud documen ed he
symp oms o wha hey called hys e ia, obse ing women who had expe ienced ep ession o
abuse p esen ing wi h pa alysis, emo s, o blindness wi hou iden i iable inju y. Al hough
cons ained by he belie s o hei ime, hese ea ly s udies ma ked he i s a emp o ecognise
ha he mind could bea inju y as he body does. Wha hey could no ye see was ha hese
inju ies we e also biological.
I ook he auma o wa o b ing his u h in o ocus. Du ing he Fi s Wo ld Wa , housands
o soldie s e u ned wi h embling hands, nigh ma es, and pa alysis, symp oms ha became
known as shell shock. Some physicians a ibu ed hese signs o weakness o malinge ing, ye
hei ecu ence ac oss a mies and con inen s was undeniable. By he ime o he Vie nam Wa ,
auma had a new name, pos - auma ic s ess diso de (PTSD). I s o mal ecogni ion in 1980
e amed auma as a measu able psychological and physiological esponse o o e whelming
h ea .
5
E en hen, he con e sa ion emained na ow. The eme ging science o auma e lec ed
p edominan ly he expe iences o men in comba , while women who endu ed sexual o
domes ic iolence we e a ely ep esen ed in esea ch. This began o change h ough he wo k
o clinicians and eminis s such as Judi h He man, whose T auma and Reco e y (1992)
econnec ed he psychology o wa auma wi h ha o domes ic and sexual abuse. He wo k
e amed auma as an inju y o powe , us , and connec ion, one ha occu s no only on he
ba le ield bu wi hin he home.
The neu oscience ha ollowed e ealed wha ea lie heo is s could no : auma al e s biology
i sel . Neu oimaging and endoc inological s udies demons a ed ha auma eshapes he
amygdala, hippocampus, and p e on al co ex, he s uc u es esponsible o emo ion,
memo y, and egula ion. The dis inc ion be ween mind and body, once ea ed as absolu e,
dissol ed unde e idence showing ha he mind was no imagining pain, he b ain was
eco ding i .
E e y Expe ience Lea es a Ma k: The Bi h o Neu o auma Science
E e y expe ience lea es a ma k, some w i en in memo y, o he s in he synapses ha de ine
who we a e. The a he o mode n neu oscience, San iago Ramón y Cajal, w o e ha “ he
his o y o he ne ous sys em is w i en in he synapses.” His wo ds ca y wo meanings. On
one le el, hey desc ibe how neu al connec ions s eng hen o ade wi h epea ed ac i i y. On
ano he , hey emind us ha each connec ion holds a ace o wha he ne ous sys em has
endu ed. The b ain is bo h an o gan o lea ning and an a chi e o su i al.
The scien i ic s udy o auma made his a chi e isible. In he mid-1990s, B emne e al.
(1995) used magne ic- esonance imaging o show ha adul s wi h PTSD had signi ican ly
smalle hippocampal olumes han heal hy con ols. Because he hippocampus con ex ualises
memo y, i s sh inkage sugges ed ha ch onic s ess ho mones, pa icula ly co isol, impai
neu onal g ow h and dis up empo al p ocessing. Fo many su i o s, he pas no longe s ays
in he pas .
6
A ound he same pe iod, Sapolsky (2000) demons a ed in animal models ha p olonged s ess
leads o dend i ic e ac ion and educed neu ogenesis in he hippocampus. These indings
e ealed he biology unde lying psychological su e ing: auma is no an abs ac emo ion bu
a p ocess o physical change. The s ess esponse, when sus ained, eshapes he a chi ec u e o
he b ain.
By he ea ly 2000s, esea ch had shi ed om ana omy o ac i i y. Using unc ional
neu oimaging, Rauch e al. (2000) and la e Shin e al. (2006) showed ha he amygdala, he
b ain’s ala m cen e, becomes hype ac i e when su i o s encoun e eminde s o auma,
while he medial p e on al co ex, which no mally inhibi s ea , shows educed ac i a ion. The
dialogue be ween ea and egula ion b eaks down, explaining why auma ic expe iences a e
o en eli ed a he han emembe ed. When he amygdala i es oo easily and he p e on al
co ex canno supp ess i , he body eac s o memo y as hough dange is s ill p esen .
Fu he wo k e ealed ha auma dis up s communica ion ac oss ne wo ks a he han isola ed
egions. Pa el e al. (2012) and S e ens e al. (2013) epo ed weakened unc ional connec i i y
linking he amygdala, hippocampus, and an e io cingula e co ex, impai ing he in eg a ion o
emo ion and memo y. The b ain p ocesses h ea wi hou con ex and emo ion wi hou
egula ion. A pe son may in ellec ually ecognise sa e y, ye hei body con inues o li e as i
hey a e no sa e.
Wha eme ged om hese disco e ies was an unde s anding o auma as bo h adap i e and
cos ly. The same mechanisms ha once ensu ed su i al now main ain hype igilance and
wi hd awal. The chemis y o p o ec ion becomes he a chi ec u e o ea . To li e wi h auma
is o inhabi a b ain ha has lea ned o su i e so well ha i s uggles o es .
Recen esea ch highligh s ha he b ain’s capaci y o change is also i s g ea es s eng h.
Thomaes e al. (2012) and Klue sch e al. (2014) demons a ed ha consis en he apy and
social suppo can es o e heal hy communica ion be ween hese egions. Func ional imaging
now shows inc eased p e on al egula ion and educed amygdala eac i i y ollowing
ea men . The same plas ici y ha once encoded ea can, h ough new expe iences o sa e y,
encode healing.
7
Cajal’s insigh inds i s mode n p oo he e: he b ain is no ixed bu a li ing s o y, con inuously
ew i en by expe ience. T auma eng a es pa e ns o igilance and a oidance in o i s ci cui y,
ye healing can w i e new pa e ns o us and calm. Wha was once me apho , he idea ha
expe ience lea es aces in he ne ous sys em, is now obse able in neu oimaging. The
synapse emembe s bo h inju y and epai .
To ecognise his is o iew auma no as weakness bu as e idence o adap a ion. The ne ous
sys em lea ns wha i mus o su i e, and wi h ime, i can lea n o li e again. E e y expe ience
lea es a ma k, bu no all ma ks mus emain wounds.
8
The Gende ed B ain o T auma
Ye as neu oscience ad anced, ano he ques ion eme ged: whose b ains we e being s udied?
Fo decades, auma was ea ed as i i had a single s o y, one oo ed in he masculine
expe ience o wa . This aming na owed he ield’s unde s anding o su e ing and esilience,
o e looking how auma ope a es when he h ea a ises no om he ba le ield bu om
in imacy, home, o us i sel .
Th oughou much o he wen ie h cen u y, he science o auma was buil almos en i ely on
he expe iences o men, pa icula ly soldie s whose exposu e o comba de ined he condi ion.
Ea ly neu oimaging s udies by B emne and Rauch in he 1990s es ablished a biological
ounda ion o pos - auma ic s ess diso de (PTSD), showing ha auma eshapes he b ain
by educing hippocampal olume, inc easing amygdala ac i i y, and weakening p e on al
egula ion. These indings e amed auma as a neu ological eali y a he han a pu ely
psychological label. Ye his amewo k e lec ed only one kind o expe ience, he auma o
he ba le ield a he han he home.
The auma aced by many women di e s no in in ensi y bu in pa e n. Ins ead o a single
ca as ophic e en , i o en un olds h ough epea ed cycles o ea , coe cion, and iola ion. The
b ain lea ns no om one explosion o e o bu om a g adual accumula ion o smalle
shocks. Each encoun e s eng hens pa hways o igilance and weakens hose o sa e y. O e
ime, he ne ous sys em adap s o su i e in an en i onmen whe e h ea hides in amilia i y.
This is he biology o complex auma, an endu ing adap a ion ma ked by hype a ousal,
in usi e memo ies, and pe sis en changes in iden i y, emo ional egula ion, and us .
As esea ch p og essed, scien is s began applying neu oimaging echniques once used o s udy
comba - ela ed PTSD o su i o s o in e pe sonal iolence. S udies o women wi h his o ies
o sexual o physical abuse e ealed al e a ions in egions ha shape sel -awa eness and bodily
pe cep ion, including he insula and medial p e on al co ex. These egions in eg a e emo ion,
sensa ion, and iden i y, allowing a pe son o eel p esen in hei own body. When dis up ed,
hey gi e ise o dissocia ion, he sense o obse ing one’s li e om he ou side, de ached om
emo ion o con ol.
15
Pe haps he eal on ie o neu oscience is no in mapping smalle ci cui s o disco e ing new
molecules, bu in lea ning how o ansla e i s indings in o compassion. To s udy auma is o
ecognise ha healing does no begin in he labo a o y bu in he ela ionships ha e- each he
b ain wha calm eels like. Science can guide us o he doo o unde s anding, bu i canno
walk us h ough i .
16
Lis ening and he Neu oscience o Healing
By now, i is clea ha auma does no li e only in memo y; i li es in mo emen , in e lex,
and in he ne ous sys em’s cons an an icipa ion o ha m. The e idence has al eady been
aced h ough his o y, neu oscience, and li ed expe ience. The body, i u ns ou , emembe s
wha he wo ld augh i o ea . Bu once ha u h is ecognised, he ques ion changes. The
ask is no longe o p o e ha auma is embodied, bu o ask wha such embodimen demands
o us. I he body has lea ned o expec dange , wha does i ake o i o belie e in sa e y
again? Wha does healing, and genuine suppo , look like o a ne ous sys em ha has spen
yea s p epa ing o impac ?
Healing, om a neu oscien i ic s andpoin , is no he e asu e o ea bu he g adual e-
associa ion o sa e y. The b ain does no unlea n dange h ough a gumen ; i lea ns h ough
epea ed expe ience. Each ime a once- h ea ening si ua ion ends wi hou ha m, he amygdala
ecalib a es, he hippocampus upda es con ex , and he p e on al co ex begins o egain
egula o y con ol. This p ocess is slow, biological, and p o oundly ela ional. The ne ous
sys em canno elea n sa e y in isola ion; i equi es co- egula ion; he s eady p esence o
ano he pe son whose calm becomes a model o i s own.
Suppo , hen, is no abou ixing someone bu abou p o iding he condi ions in which hei
b ain can begin o e-map sa e y. P edic abili y is he i s condi ion: consis ency o one,
iming, and beha iou educes hype igilance by lowe ing baseline amygdala ac i i y. Choice
is he second: when su i o s con ol he pace o closeness and disclosu e, he p e on al co ex
e-engages, es o ing agency. The hi d is calm p esence, social bu e ing, whe e ano he ’s
s able ne ous sys em dampens physiological a ousal. These a e no poe ic me apho s; hey a e
measu able p ocesses ha unde lie eco e y.
F om my pe spec i e as bo h a neu oscien is and a man, his unde s anding e ames wha ca e
should look like. Consis ency is no sen imen ; i is neu al egula ion. Hones y is no mo al
pe o mance; i is he da a he b ain needs o us . Gen leness is no passi i y; i is an ac i e
ecalib a ion o h ea de ec ion. E e y eliable ac becomes a mic o-in e en ion in he s ess
esponse. Fo men especially, his awa eness ca ies a pa icula esponsibili y. Ou beha iou
can ei he ein o ce hype igilance o help disman le i . The same oice, pos u e, o p oximi y
ha once ep esen ed h ea can, h ough awa eness and es ain , signal sa e y.
17
Lis ening is he mechanism h ough which his ans o ma ion happens. When someone speaks
o pain and is me wi h quie , non-de ensi e a en ion, he p e on al co ex ac i a es and begins
o inhibi he amygdala. B ea hing slows, hea a e s eadies, and s ess ho mones decline. O e
ime, such in e ac ions e ain he body o an icipa e calm a he han con lic . In his way,
empa hy unc ions as a biological in e en ion, a o m o neu al ewi ing enac ed h ough
con e sa ion.
Social neu oscience o e s a name o his: in e pe sonal synch ony. When wo people
communica e au hen ically, hei neu al and physiological pa e ns begin o align; hea a es,
b ea hing hy hms, and co ical ac i i y synch onise. In he con ex o auma, his synch ony
becomes epa a i e, p oo ha connec ion can exis wi hou dange . Healing occu s no in
isola ion bu in synch onised egula ion.
To lis en, he e o e, is o pa icipa e in ano he ’s eco e y a he le el o biology. I is o lend
you ne ous sys em as e idence ha sa e y is s ill possible. Fo hose o us who s udy he
b ain, his ede ines wha i means o apply knowledge: empa hy is no he absence o igou
bu i s ex ension in o li e. Science can e eal how ea is lea ned; compassion shows how i is
unlea ned. The ask o healing lies be ween he wo, in he space whe e unde s anding becomes
p esence.
Unde s anding how auma eshapes he b ain lea es li le oom o neu ali y. Knowledge
i sel becomes ei he an in e en ion o a ailu e o in e ene. Fo hose o us who s udy hese
mechanisms, he ques ion is no longe wha does auma do? bu wha should we do wi h ha
knowledge?
Fo men in suppo i e oles, ha ques ion ca ies a pa icula weigh . We belong o he g oup
mos o en associa ed wi h dange , ye we also hold he capaci y o disp o e ha expec a ion.
E e y in e ac ion wi h a su i o is he e o e bo h a possibili y and a es , an oppo uni y o
become e idence ha sa e y can exis again.
One su i o old me ha when she looks a a man, he i s hing she and o he women wonde
is, “Ha e you abused anyone? A e you a p eda o ? A e you eac i e? Am I sa e? Do I mo e?”
Thei igilance is no pa anoia; i is p edic ion. The b ain’s h ea -de ec ion ne wo k has
lea ned o calcula e isk au oma ically; an algo i hm buil om expe ience.
18
I once asked whe he healing e e ends, whe he he e is a poin whe e igilance ades. They
all answe ed he same way: ne e . Healing, hey explained, is no he absence o ea bu
lea ning how o li e wi h i . The ne ous sys em may quie , bu i ne e o ge s.
This is wha neu oscience desc ibes as sensi isa ion. Once he h ea sys em has been epea edly
ac i a ed, i s baseline shi s. I con inues o scan o dange e en in calm. Ye he same science
shows ha epe i ion can each he opposi e: gen le, p edic able in e ac ions lowe ha baseline
o e ime. Sa e y mus he e o e be p ac ised, no p esumed. Fo men, ha means
unde s anding ha eassu ance is no decla ed h ough wo ds bu h ough pa e ns, one,
eliabili y, and es ain .
To heal alongside someone who has been hu equi es a pa icula kind o s eng h. Many men
say i is easie o lea e bu helping someone elea n us a e a li e ime o ea demands
pa ience ha ew a e augh . I equi es sel -con ol a he han dominance, a en i eness a he
han pe suasion. To s ay s eady while ano he pe son’s ne ous sys em es s and e es s you
in en ions is no weakness; i is discipline. The man who can emain calm h ough hose cycles
o doub becomes pa o he he apy i sel . His p edic abili y ewi es expec a ion. His p esence
becomes da a he body can inally belie e.
This is whe e compassion mee s biology. In neu al e ms, consis ency es o es p e on al
egula ion, empa hy educes amygdala eac i i y, and eliable ca e s eng hens oxy ocin-based
bonding. In human e ms, i means showing up he same way on quie days and on di icul
ones. I means lis ening when you would a he de end you sel , s aying when wi hd awal
would be easie , and espec ing silence as communica ion. Each ac o s eadiness ells he
ne ous sys em: you a e sa e he e; no hing is abou o change.
Sa e y, hen, is no an idea bu a beha iou , a pa e n ha mus be epea ed un il i becomes
memo y. To c ea e sa e y is o build a new kind o e idence, p oo ha p oximi y does no
equal h ea , ha powe can exis wi hou ha m, and ha masculini y can mean p o ec ion a he
han con ol. Neu oscience shows ha beha iou shapes biology; e hics decides how we use
ha ac .
19
Men who unde s and his a e no escue s o sa iou s. They a e pa icipan s in epai , lending
s abili y whe e he wo ld once o e ed ea . I auma eo ganises he b ain o expec dange ,
hen men mus lea n o eo ganise hei p esence o coun e i . E e y consis en ges u e, e e y
kep p omise, becomes a small ac o neu obiology, he slow unlea ning o ea . Science has
al eady explained wha ha m does o he b ain. The eal ques ion now is whe he hose o us
who unde s and i will choose o ac acco dingly.
20
Healing Beyond he Labo a o y
E en when we lea n how o o e sa e y, we mus accep ha healing will ne e ollow he
imeline o ou in en ions. E en wi h pa ience, educa ion, and ca e, healing is no linea . The e
will be momen s when connec ion eels impossible, when silence e u ns no as ejec ion bu
as e uge. The ne ous sys em does no ush i s lessons. Some imes he mos compassiona e
ac is o s ep back and allow space. To unde s and auma is o ecognise ha soli ude, oo, can
be a o m o sa e y.
I his happens, we should no mis ake dis ance o ailu e. We should e lec , and ask whe he
some hing in ou one, ou wo ds, o ou p esence may ha e eopened an old wound, bu we
mus also accep ha healing belongs o he su i o , no o us. Some imes he kindes hing
we can do is o s ep back and le quie do he wo k. The esponsibili y does no end he e; i
e u ns o us: o keep lea ning, o keep ques ioning he e lexes ha make ou p esence hea y
o o he s, and o keep educa ing ou sel es abou he biology and weigh o ea .
And his, I say o men, o all o us. We a e connec ed by mo e han ou ch omosomes; we a e
connec ed by his o y. Whe he o no we ha e caused ha m, we ca y he echoes o hose who
ha e. We walk in o ooms whe e sa e y mus s ill be p o en, no assumed. Unde s anding
auma means ecognising ha ou oices, ges u es, and silences a e ead by bodies ha ha e
lea ned o p edic dange . Tha knowledge should change how we mo e h ough he wo ld. I
should make us slowe o ange , quicke o lis en, and mo e delibe a e in how we hold space.
We canno ew i e he pas , bu we can become he p oo ha he p esen is di e en .
I do no w i e his as an accusa ion bu as an inclusion. We a e pa o he same sys em we a e
ying o change. The poin is no guil ; i is g ow h. We a e capable o lea ning, jus as he
b ain is capable o ewi ing h ough epe i ion, o eplacing dominance wi h s eadiness and
de ensi eness wi h cu iosi y. Healing is no some hing we pe o m o o he s; i is some hing
we pa icipa e in h ough he way we exis beside hem.
In he end, his pape is no only abou neu oscience o auma bu abou wha i means o li e
esponsibly wi h knowledge. Resea ch shows ha auma eo ganises he b ain, bu li e shows
ha compassion can eo ganise socie y. Sa e y begins as biology, bu i mus end as cul u e,
sus ained by how we speak, ouch, lis en, and choose no o ha m. Science may each us how
ea is wi ed, bu empa hy eaches us how i can be unwound.
21
Because o unde s and auma is no o mas e pain, bu o ecognise ou du y o ne e be i s
cause again.
Acknowledgemen s
This wo k was concei ed and w i en independen ly by he au ho . The au ho ex ends deep
g a i ude o he women who sha ed hei expe iences o auma and eco e y, whose e lec ions
in o med he human dimension o his pape . Thei us and insigh ga e his wo k i s pu pose.
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