Women moving forward in pictures: using digital photographs to explore postpartum women's physical activity experiences

Women moving forward in pictures: Using digital photographs to explore postpartum 1 women’s physical activity experiences 2 3 Corliss Bean1*, Iris Lesser2, & Talia Ritondo1 4 1 Department of Recreation & Leisure Studies, Brock University 5 2 School of Kinesiology, University of the Fraser Valley 6 *Corresponding author: Corliss Bean (cbe[email protected]), https://orcid.org/0000-0002-82625412 7 Twitter: @corliss_bean 8 Submission date 1: June 1, 2022 9 Resubmission date: December 1, 2022 10 Resubmission 2 date: February 6, 2023 11 12 13 14 Manuscript word count: 10,500 15 Number of Figures: 10, Number of Tables: 0 16 Abstract 17 While much research sees physical activity as an intervention for the postpartum body, there is a 18 lack of literature understanding how postpartum physical activity affects women’s mental health 19 and physical well-being. Unpacking how physical activity affects postpartum women holistically 20 is critical because of the negative physical and mental health consequences accompanying the 21 postpartum period. Thus, the purpose of this study was to use digital photographs to explore 22 women’s experiences engaging in physical activity during the first-year postpartum. Auto23 photography was used as it allowed postpartum women to share a photograph illustrating their 24 physical activity experiences. This method allowed for greater comprehension regarding how 25 participants believed physical activity impacted their mental health and physical well-being. 26 Fifty women (Mage = 31.82 years; Mage of infant = 6.22 months) submitted photos with a short 27 text description explaining its context and what it represented. A reflexive thematic analysis was 28 used to analyze the photos through a critical feminist lens. Study findings were organized into 29 three themes. First, postpartum women engaging in physical activity experienced feelings of 30 empowerment, that helped heal the body and mind while reconnecting with their athletic 31 identity. Second, doing so meant adapting their physical activity to motherhood or around 32 motherhood. Third, postpartum women navigated many obstacles, including the COVID-19 33 pandemic, weather, and finding activewear that fit their changing bodies. Insights into these 34 experiences may inform health promoters, healthcare professionals, recreation leaders, and 35 women’s support networks to understand their needs when engaging in physical activity during 36 the postpartum period. 37 Keywords: mother, physical activity, participation, mental health, empowerment 38 Women moving forward in pictures: Using digital photographs to explore postpartum 39 women’s physical activity experiences 40 Introduction 41 The birth of a child is a profound transition in a woman’s life, requiring identity and role 42 adaptations, while undergoing unique physiological transformations (Lederman & Weis, 2020). 43 Mothers who engage in physical activity postpartum have reported positive physical and mental 44 health outcomes (Davis and Dimidjian 2012). Although many women believe that participating 45 in postpartum physical activity is valuable (Evenson et al. 2009), many do not engage in physical 46 activity as leisure during this period (Garshasbi et al. 2015). An unequal distribution in leisure 47 engagement has been noted between women and men, with women having access to less 48 meaningful leisure time due to gendered expectations of motherhood (McKeown 2021). New 49 mothers experience many barriers to physical activity (e.g., lack of time, infant caregiving; 50 Evenson et al. 2009; Shelton and Lee 2018), with many women acknowledging not having the 51 capacity to return to physical activity in the way they desired (Liva et al. 2021). Notably, 52 mothers attempting to plan physical activity around family time were negatively impacted by the 53 societal expectation to be a ‘good mother’ (McGannon, McMahon, and Gonsalves 2017), which 54 led to feelings of guilt for spending time on self-care rather than with their children (Lloyd, 55 O’Brien, and Riot 2016). Gendered expectations may also lead added time pressure, whereby 56 mothers may feel the need to negotiate their time between engaging in physical activity or with 57 their children (McGannon, McMahon, and Gonsalves 2018). As such, the pressure to navigate 58 gendered expectations of motherhood may lead to compromised mental well-being (Henderson, 59 Harmon, and Newman, 2016). 60 To date, most research on postpartum physical activity has centred around its health 61 benefits, including reducing postpartum depression, weight loss, and gestational diabetes 62 (Dipietro et al. 2019). Specifically, the postpartum body is often discussed as requiring 63 intervention through exercise (Roy 2014) rather than viewing physical activity as a form of 64 leisure for well-being. Embedded within these interventions is exercise as a weight loss 65 narrative, whereby gendered expectations are for mothers to ‘bounce back’. Women are often 66 inundated with direct and implicit imagery and messaging to obtain the ‘ideal’ maternal body 67 (Gow et al. 2012). This narrative has been further explored in an ethnographic evaluation of a 68 stroller fitness class for new mothers, where participants frequently discussed the class aimed to 69 ‘cultivat[e] appropriate postpartum mom bodies’ (Deluca and Bustad 2017, p.145). Similarly, a 70 study of mothers with young children who participated in a swimming program, reflected that 71 swimming in motherhood was greatly tied to aesthetic fitness as bodies were examined in the 72 context of swimming attire (Evans and Allen-Collinson 2016). This intersection between 73 postpartum physical activity and body image is reflected in the adjustment of mothers to their 74 new lives and bodies while attempting to negotiate gendered expectations of motherhood (Lloyd 75 et al. 2016). Further, McGannon and McMahon (2021) argued that subjective embodiment 76 research is necessary in postpartum women to understand their health and well-being decision77 making processes. While the literature continues to develop around competitive-recreational and 78 elite athletes (e.g. Appley and Fischer 2009; McGannon and McMahon 2021) there remains a 79 gap among postpartum women who engage in physical activity and exercise as leisure. 80 Furthering the complexities between physical activity, embodiment, and motherhood 81 identity are the gendered expectations of intensive mothering (O’Brien, Lloyd, and Riot 2017). 82 Intensive mothering dictates that mothers must prioritize their child’s well-being over their own, 83 which involves dedicating all resources including time, money, and energy, to be deemed a good 84 mother (Trussell and Shaw 2012). This gendered expectation negatively impacts mothers’ 85 physical activity and exercise engagement as it generates feelings of guilt and inadequacy as a 86 parent for taking time for the self (Bean and Wimbs 2021; Lloyd et al. 2016). Consequentially, 87 feminist leisure and sport scholars have uncovered how mothers use physical activity 88 engagement as a form of resistance to the intensive mothering narrative (Lloyd et al. 2016). For 89 example, McGannon et al. (2018) found that competitive recreational athletes saw taking time 90 for themselves though sport engagement as contributing to being a ‘good mother’, meaning both 91 identities worked in tandem to resist narratives of intensive mothering. Similarly, Walsh et al. 92 (2018) unpacked that programming designed to assist new mothers in reengaging in physical 93 activity helped participants connect with their social and athletic identities beyond motherhood. 94 Therefore, while tensions exist between mothering and physical activity identities, physical 95 activity and exercise engagement can also act as a method of resistance to intensive mothering 96 narratives by connecting to one’s social and physical activity identities outside of motherhood. 97 While qualitative research surrounding mothers’ postpartum experiences, including 98 physical activity engagement, continues to increase, limited research has used creative methods. 99 To further possibilities of knowing, McGannon and colleagues (2019) suggested using visual 100 forms of representation to communicate and analyze data when working with this population. 101 Photography and digital media have been used as an effective way of understanding mothers’ 102 perspectives (e.g. McGannon, Graper, and McMahon 2022; Nash, 2014, 2015) as nuances can be 103 reflected in photos (e.g., context, identity, conflict) through what is pictured or omitted. Auto104 photography can capture different detail in participants’ experiences than verbal and written 105 methodology as it captures how participants view their reality (Erdner et al. 2009). Given the 106 fear of judgement in relation to embodiment and guilt of motherhood, auto-photography may 107 provide a storytelling tool that is empowering for women (Sheilds 1995), allowing them to 108 control what is pictured about their bodies and lives and show images of motherhood that are 109 important to and represent them (Nash 2015). Likewise, auto-photography presents snapshots of 110 both ‘socially and culturally specific ways of seeing individual experiences of pregnancy’ and 111 motherhood (Nash, 2015, p.22), which can also reflect postpartum women’s experiences of 112 integrating physical activity into their understandings of motherhood. Despite the richness auto113 photography can bring to our understanding of postpartum physical activity experiences, this 114 method has yet to be applied to understanding women’s experiences. Building off this research 115 gap, the purpose of this study was to use digital photographs to explore postpartum women’s 116 experiences engaging in physical activity. 117 Methods 118 Researcher Positionality and Theoretical Perspective 119 Our study was guided by a social constructivist feminist theoretical perspective. Social 120 constructivism posits that knowledge is socially and culturally constructed through practices, 121 interactions, stories, and social systems that breathe life into everyday occurrences and bring 122 meaning to human activity (Freysigner et al. 2013). This epistemological lens guided our 123 feminist theoretical perspective which views how patriarchal social systems are embedded 124 through the lives (Freysigner et al. 2013) and physical activity experiences of postpartum 125 women. Utilizing a feminist theoretical perspective allowed us to understand how knowledge, 126 truths, and themes of motherhood were constructed within androcentric systems surrounding 127 physical activity, leisure, and sport (Trussell, Kovac, and Apgar 2018), bringing more women’s 128 voices into conversations surrounding physical activity (Hesse-Biber 2012). 129 Researcher reflexivity is central to undertaking a social constructivist feminist project 130 because of the knowledge co-construction that takes place as researchers interpret participants’ 131 photos and words (Hesse-Biber and Piatelli 2012). Considerations outlined by Secules et al. 132 (2021) were followed, including acknowledging the researchers’ role in practice, establishing 133 transparency of their self-attributes, and contextualizing the self within the methodology. 134 Specifically, recognizing the intersections of our own identities and positionalities within 135 patriarchal systems, such as sport and academia, are necessary to understand the impact our lived 136 experiences and worldviews have on what is being shared. 137 Below, we outline the authors’ lived experiences and roles within the research project. 138 The first author identifies as a White able-bodied third-generation Canadian woman, who is an 139 Assistant Professor in a health sciences department at a Canadian university. At the time of data 140 collection, she had given birth to her first child and was on parental leave. She is a former varsity 141 athlete and being active is a critical piece of her identity. The second author also identifies as a 142 White able-bodied third-generation woman, who is an Assistant Professor in a kinesiology 143 department at a Canadian university. At the time of data collection, she was at the end of her 144 parental leave with her second child. She is a former collegiate rower and ensures physical 145 activity is part of her daily life. The third author is a White able-bodied second-generation 146 Canadian woman and a Research Assistant in a health sciences department at a Canadian 147 university. She is a competitive beach volleyball player, has no children, but is passionate about 148 critically examining the social changes that accompany having children. While the first two 149 authors previously identified as athletes, they now engage in physical activity for leisure and to 150 support their physical and mental health. Choosing to study the meaning and experiences of 151 postpartum women’s physical activity engagement has been shaped by their journeys and 152 experiences as mothers, athletes, physical activity engagers, and education. 153 Participants and Procedure 154 This study was part of a larger mixed-methods project exploring postpartum women’s 155 experiences with physical activity engagement. Data collection took place over 6-weeks during 156 the COVID-19 pandemic (January-March 2022). While the study purpose was not to 157 intentionally understand women’s postpartum experiences in the context of the pandemic, we 158 recognize the effect it may have had. We used auto-photography to understand women’s 159 experiences returning to physical activity after the birth of a child. The research protocol was 160 approved by the authors’ respective Research Ethics Boards prior to data collection. Upon ethical 161 approval, a SurveyMonkey link was distributed via paid social media ads to target mothers with 162 infants. Eligible participants were individuals who identified as women, who had given birth to a 163 child, and were between 6-weeks and 12-months postpartum at time of data collection. All 164 participants were required to understand, read, and write in English. The questionnaire included 165 three sections: (a) study overview and informed consent, (b) demographic information, and (c) 166 auto-photography. 167 Auto-photography 168 Auto-photography is a method in which participants are asked to take a digital photo that 169 they believe best represents themselves and/or their experiences, capturing the world through 170 participants’ eyes leading to academic knowledge (Glaw et al. 2017). Collecting photos that 171 represent women’s experiences aligns with feminist theoretical perspectives because it centers 172 participants’ voices, making them knowledge co-creators while empowering them to contribute 173 to societal and political change (Lykes and Hershberg 2012). Within the questionnaire, 174 participants were asked to share a meaningful digital photograph or artifact (hereafter referred to 175 as photo) associated with their physical activity engagement during the first year of motherhood. 176 To further incorporate their voices into the research process (Castleden et al. 2008), participants 177 were asked to include written text to describe their photo in their own words. The following 178 statement was provided to participants in the survey: 179 Provide a 2-3 sentence description of the photo/artifact explaining what it is and how it 180 represents physical activity engagement to you as a mother. The following questions may 181 help prompt your description: ‘Tell me about this photo’, ‘What does this photo mean to 182 you?’, and ‘How does this photo make you feel when you see it?’ 183 Over the 6-week period, 133 respondents completed the questionnaire. Fifty-two 184 individuals uploaded a photograph (35 included associated text description). Data from two 185 participants were removed as it did not align with the study purpose (e.g. sharing a photo 186 unrelated to physical activity). Data from 50 women were used for subsequent analyses. 187 Participants ranged from 23-42 years old (Mage = 31.82, SD = 4.68) and had between 1 188 and 5 children (M = 1.52, SD = .81) with the average age of their infant being 6.22 months. 189 Thirty women indicated this was their first child. Participants identified their racial and ethnic 190 identities as predominantly White (n = 43), with six identifying as one of the following: Arab, 191 Caribbean, East Asian, Indigenous, Pacific Islander, South Asian, and prefer not to disclose. 192 Participants resided across Canada (n = 37), the United States (n = 11), England (n = 1), and 193 Germany (n = 1). As this was part of a larger study, 17 participants who shared a photo through 194 the questionnaire were randomly invited to participate in an interview to further explore their 195 experiences with physical activity engagement during the first-year postpartum. However, only 196 their photo and associated description were analyzed as part of this study. Given the nature of the 197 Bridging Motherhood and Athletic Identity 333 Several participants discussed the power of reconnecting with their athletic identities 334 through motherhood. For many women, this meant returning to or maintaining a sport or exercise 335 identity, whereby physical activity was a central part of themselves, helping to drive behaviour. 336 For example, Natalie reflected on the internal struggle of balancing her role as a mother and 337 exerciser as she brought her infant to squash: 338 It was the first time I had played squash since having him. I was so unsure about how it 339 would work having him and being able to still participate in a sport. Would he cry the 340 entire time? Would I be able to get back to playing? When I see the photo, it remind[s] 341 me that ‘yes I am mom, but I still can fit in things I love’, like squash and keeping fit. 342 INSERT FIGURE 4 343 This return to sport or physical activity was often achieved through including their infants in the 344 activities. Amy shared the pride she felt for not only being able to be physically active with her 345 3-month-old infant, but also the mutual benefit it provided for her and her child. Similarly, Elina 346 shared a photo of her and her daughter on an overnight backcountry trip: 347 When I look at [the photo], I see someone who is returning to a place where they feel 348 grounded and at peace. I feel proud of myself for being strong enough to bring [my 349 daughter] on such a remote adventure—something I didn’t think I would be able to return 350 to, especially in the early postpartum stages. 351 This quote reinforces the sense of empowerment many individuals felt through reconnecting with 352 their athletic identities and restoring their physical fitness from before pregnancy. 353 Other women valued an identity beyond being a mother through physical activity 354 engagement. For women who identified as an athlete or exerciser prior to becoming a mother, 355 they used phrases such as ‘feeling like myself’ or experiencing a sense of ‘normalcy’ when 356 describing their physical activity engagement. This notion was illustrated by Yara who shared a 357 photo of a ‘slightly messy house and indoor cycling trainer’: ‘Sometimes it’s a short session and 358 other times I get my full workout in. Either way a physical activity session helps relieve stress 359 and gives me a sense of normalcy for a little bit.’ 360 INSERT FIGURE 5 361 This photo demonstrates the pride embedded in physical activity engagement and the recognition 362 that adaptability was critical to make physical activity a habit in motherhood. 363 Adaptability of Physical Activity Engagement 364 Reimagining what constituted physical activity was acknowledged by many participants. 365 Many mothers spoke of needing to be adaptable, highlighting the notion of ‘fitting in’ physical 366 activity into their lives. Some mothers engaged in short bouts of physical activity (e.g. squats), 367 while their infant was doing tummy time. Other participants spoke of dancing, playing sport, or 368 being active with older children as sources of physical activity. Two subthemes are presented 369 within this theme, including: (a) adapting physical activity to motherhood and (b) adapting 370 physical activity around motherhood. 371 Adapting physical activity to motherhood 372 Some mothers chose to engage in physical activity where both they and their infant 373 benefitted, including using an indoor trainer while a child napped and hiking to expose a child to 374 the outdoors. Nearly half of the images provided by participants included the use of a stroller or 375 infant carrier. As illustrated earlier, infant carriers were perceived by many women to bond with 376 their infant and increase exercise intensity, as reflected by Morgan: ‘the carrier’s been really 377 awesome because she gets to kick around and see what’s going on. We both get to enjoy the 378 outdoors and be active…it’s something for us to do together’. 379 INSERT FIGURE 6 380 Adapting one’s physical activity regime to fit infant’s needs did not come without 381 challenges. Shelia, who shared a stock photo of a laptop playing a yoga video, vocalized how her 382 child’s napping schedule led to socially isolating physical activity: 383 This is the only way I have access to physical activity. It makes me frustrated because I 384 don’t like having to workout alone in my house with a laptop while my baby naps. I want 385 to be around other people, inspired by other women and mommas. 386 Similarly, Sophie spoke of her desire and passion to be physically active outdoors yet 387 highlighted the need for resilience: 388 It’s easy to make excuses to not go for a run on days like these, but making a 389 commitment to yourself and your animal is important. This was also a trying day when 390 my son would not go down for a nap after several attempts (I had planned to workout at 391 home during his nap). Instead of getting down about a change in schedule, we adapted— 392 he got his nap in and my dog and I got our physical activity. 393 INSERT FIGURE 7 394 This quote reinforces other participants’ sentiments about the need for flexibility and mental 395 toughness when things do not go as planned. Finally, Kai shared a photo of her hand pushing her 396 daughter in a stroller on a fall day. She reflected on the importance of making physical activity a 397 priority for herself. However, with this commitment came the need to adapt the type of activity 398 she engaged in to fit her infant’s needs: 399 As much as I wanted to get to the gym that day and was craving time alone, working on 400 myself, the best that I could do was put my daughter in a stroller and go on a walk. To me 401 that’s motherhood. Motherhood is a massive picture…it’s not always going to look how 402 you want it to, but you have to find ways to make it work and be gracious with yourself. 403 This quote speaks to the importance of prioritizing physical activity in the rollercoaster of 404 motherhood, while also incorporating self-compassion. 405 Adapting physical activity around motherhood 406 While the above sub-theme illustrated how mothers adapted their physical activity to fit 407 their infants’ needs, other mothers brought their infant along to their desired activities. For 408 example, Natalie outlined above that she was apprehensive about bringing her son to her squash 409 game yet was pleased with her decision as it reinforced her commitment to engage in activities 410 she enjoyed. Similarly, Mackenzie spoke of how her dance instructor encouraged her to bring 411 their five-and-a-half-month-old son to private dance lessons: 412 It was amazing to have an instructor suggest our child join us in this physical activity - it 413 made going to dance lessons easier and a sweet memory for us as a family. The more 414 physical activities you can do with your baby, the easier it is for postpartum people to 415 engage those activities. 416 Conversely, other mothers outlined the value of independent physical activity, using it as 417 self-care and an outlet from motherhood. Hannah shared that her childcare options were limited 418 due to the pandemic, requiring her to be active once her children were asleep: 419 Most of my running happens after my kids go to bed. I am immensely grateful to still get 420 out and do what I love no matter the circumstances. It’s so nice to have this way of 421 closing out stress from the day and doing something I love by myself and for myself. 422 This quotation highlighted the importance of being adaptable to fit physical activity in when she 423 could due to her mothering commitments. Additionally, numerous participants included their 424 dogs in the photo or text description, often indicating their pet was a source of motivation to be 425 active. Specifically, Tessa felt accountable to walk her dog daily, highlighting that not only was 426 it ‘the best way to get exercise’, but was also an opportunity to fit in time to herself. 427 Navigating Obstacles 428 While many challenges were interwoven into the above themes (e.g. adaptability, healing 429 bodies), several other obstacles were identified by participants, including the COVID-19 430 pandemic, social isolation, weather, managing a household, and ill-fitting activewear. As noted 431 previously, although the COVID-19 pandemic was not a main study focus, it emerged as a 432 source of stress that impacted physical activity engagement for many mothers, as illustrated by 433 Zoe: ‘At 2-6 months postpartum it (walking with baby in stroller) was all I was able to do – 434 weather permitting…Even though you can’t see it in the photo, the pandemic is a constant 435 worry—trying to balance safety with your physical and mental health’. Mila shared a photo 436 illustrating her frustration of being unable to engage in group fitness classes: ‘I’ve spent endless 437 hours pushing a stroller down trails. I love those memories, but I also grieve the group activities 438 that were missed. I missed being able to do physical activities with others, but it never felt safe.’ 439 INSERT FIGURE 8 440 In addition to the pandemic, participants spoke of weather as an obstacle to navigate. For 441 instance, Zoe shared a selfie that included herself carrying a child in an infant carrier, her three 442 other children on foot, and her husband hiking. She described the photo as meaningful for 443 several reasons: 444 The winter was so long and cold. To have an infant in 2020 with COVID, the picture just 445 felt like we’re going to leave all this indoor stuff behind and enjoy a new season. It was 446 very hard having an infant in the winter...nobody could visit you and you couldn’t go 447 anywhere or get support. It was very lonely, so this was refreshing to exercise together. 448 Returning to physical activity postpartum also involved navigating obstacles related to 449 themes of gender, as some participants expressed having to manage a household (i.e. cleaning, 450 organizing) and childcare in order to participate in physical activity. This is illustrated through 451 Liana’s her photo and description: ‘moving baby, cleaning, and trying to do focused exercises’. 452 INSERT FIGURE 9 453 Likewise, women expressed how the postpartum period involves reconciling with a body that has 454 experienced pregnancy and birth. Some mothers spoke of trying to navigate the desire to be 455 physically active while struggling to find activewear that fit their postpartum bodies, as 456 illustrated by Cheyenne: 457 When taking this photo, I thought about another barrier I’ve faced – wardrobe. With my 458 body being so different from pre-pregnancy, and basically changing weekly, getting a 459 sports bra to fit is next to impossible (and eternally frustrating). This is one of the main 460 reasons I haven’t started running again. 461 INSERT FIGURE 10 462 Battling with postpartum fitness attire was seconded by Taylor as she described her home 463 exercise space as chaotic: ‘It’s what my current workout space looks like – baby monitor, 464 random toys, at home workout gear, and ill-fitting sports bra.’ 465 Discussion 466 Visual methods can be used as an empowering process for participants to express their 467 lived experiences and perceptions in creative ways (Erdner et al. 2009); however, such methods 468 have been underutilized in health and leisure research (Balmer, Griffiths, and Dunn 2015). The 469 purpose of this study was to use digital photographs to explore postpartum women’s experiences 470 engaging in physical activity. The first year postpartum is a unique time in a woman’s life where 471 she is adapting to a new physical body, mental struggles, and infant care. This study was an 472 opportunity for women to reflect on this period and to see how far they had come both physically 473 and mentally. Predominately, mothers appeared to see physical activity as something that 474 positively impacted their postpartum transition physically and psychologically, provided 475 opportunities for empowerment, and broadened their identities beyond motherhood. However, 476 such engagement required flexibility and adaptability and with that its own set of unique 477 challenges. Critically examining the experiences of postpartum women’s physical activity in this 478 way can provide baseline knowledge that may inspire more inclusive policies and service 479 provision for those who are invested in improving active leisure and lives of mothers. 480 Many mothers were motivated to engage in physical activity postpartum, which helped 481 re-frame the social role of ‘postpartum mother’ to include an aspect of self-care. Social, cultural, 482 and medical narratives have created norms that shape the beliefs, values, and practices of 483 postpartum women (Joy et al. 2020). One of the unique challenges that mothers in western 484 society often face is the gendered expectation of intensive mothering; the belief that mothers 485 must dedicate all their resources (e.g. time, energy) to their children, thus putting themselves 486 second (Henderson, Harmon, and Newman 2016). Participants in the present study actively 487 resisted this narrative by emphasizing the importance of making space for physical activity to 488 care for their mental and physical well-being. Meaningful engagement in leisure activities, 489 including physical activity, has been identified as an important process for healing and coping 490 with stress that can facilitate a sense of empowerment (e.g. Carruthers and Hood 2007), which 491 was reflected within the study findings. Many participants used their photos to illustrate how 492 caring for the self through physical activity was an essential part of their self-care and 493 postpartum journey. This finding furthers McGannon et al.’s (2018) research about women 494 juggling their identities as athletes and mothers. While this research saw women seeking a 495 balance between both identities, participants in the present study sought to marry the two. 496 Postpartum women no longer had to choose between their identities of mother or 497 athlete/exerciser but reframe the social role of mother to incorporate both. 498 Mothers participated in a range of physical activities from leisurely movement to sport. 499 These leisure-oriented activities are suggested to align with practices of self-care where mothers 500 engage in individual physical activity choices based on their current circumstances rather than by 501 the rigid expectations set out by society (Lloyd et al. 2016). Such expectations related to 502 intensity, frequency, and time have been found to have negative psychological outcomes for new 503 mothers (Albright, Maddock, and Nigg 2005). Further, central to our study, the act of exercising 504 agency to not only engage in physical activity but choosing to photograph and share physical 505 activity as central to self-care demonstrates an active form of resistance to intensive mothering 506 ideologies (Lloyd et al. 2016). However, it is important to note that not all participants were able 507 to exercise agency or resistance when choosing what physical activity they engaged in or 508 photographed. For example, Kai could not find space for ‘alone time’ she wanted at the gym. As 509 such, agency and ‘alone time’ are not always attained by postpartum women engaging in 510 physical activity (Lloyd et al. 2016). 511 Similarly, while it is important to acknowledge what was captured within participants’ 512 photos, it is also important to reflect on what was absent. There were minimal overt depictions of 513 the embodiment of motherhood in photos and associated commentary (i.e. sharing and/or 514 celebrating their postpartum body, physical changes). Some nuanced references were made to 515 challenges associated with attire, such as finding comfortable or fitting clothing for physical 516 activity engagement. These findings were surprising for two reasons: (a) the common visual 517 representation of the transformed body during and post pregnancy (Nash, 2015) and (b) the 518 breadth of literature tying physical activity engagement postpartum into aesthetic goals and the 519 ‘bounce back’ narrative (e.g. Boybay Koyuncu and Duman 2022; Prinds et al. 2020). Further, 520 although postpartum bodies are often depicted in the research as “needing intervention” (Roy 521 2014), postpartum women in the present study shared empowering photos of pride, self-efficacy, 522 and ability surrounding their body. It was possible that the study sample reflected mostly women 523 who felt confident in their physical activity engagement and physical bodies postpartum, wanting 524 to focus on positive accomplishments surrounding meaningful physical activity engagement. An 525 additional possibility is that even in an anonymous environment women felt uncomfortable 526 posting photos that would depict their postpartum body or force them to view their body from 527 that lens. The lack of photos of the physical body may suggest an avoidance of those challenges 528 as women may lack the self-compassion necessary to be able to confidently portray their 529 postpartum bodies engaging in physical activity (Woekel and Ebbeck 2013). Such insight also 530 reflects Thomas (2009) who shared that participants who engaged in auto-photography research 531 are aware that it is for research and therefore make decisions about how they would like to be 532 represented through their visual submission. 533 While much research speaks to the benefits and challenges of engaging in physical 534 activity postpartum, there is a paucity of knowledge regarding the transformative nature of 535 physical activity as empowerment in the motherhood transition. Participants found a sense of 536 empowerment throughout this study, which has also been found among mothers with young 537 children (e.g. Lloyd et al. 2016). Women in the present study found physical activity to be 538 empowering for supporting their physical and mental-well being or empowerment to be a way of 539 bridging their motherhood and athletic identities. Previous research has found that mothers may 540 experience tension or guilt trying to navigate motherhood and maintaining a sense of athletic 541 identity (Darroch and Hillsburg, 2017). However, mothers in this study spoke of returning to 542 their athletic identities as being empowering, which is reflective of the athlete-mother identity 543 being a juggling act but a required therapy (McGannon et al. 2018). Women who are able to 544 maintain this juggling act may have greater intrinsic motivation for physical activity (e.g. 545 enjoyable, empowering) compared to extrinsic motivation (e.g. baby needs a nap, dog needs a 546 walk; Krouse et al. 2011). Reasons for physical activity engagement that are linked to personal 547 fulfillment, such as enjoyment, are likely to be associated with greater physical activity 548 engagement (Segar, Spruijt-Metz, and Nolen-Hoeksema 2006). 549 Women in this study recognized the need to be adaptable to fit physical activity in among 550 motherhood demands. This finding is important as previous research found that expecting 551 physical activity to be done with ease with minimal disruption is a myth (Petrassi 2012). It can 552 be challenging for new mothers to balance competing identities as athlete, partner, and mother 553 after having children, which can lead to a loss of athletic identity (Hamilton and White 2012). 554 Within this transition of finding an athletic identity as a mother, participants shared photos of 555 being physically active within motherhood or around motherhood. This finding parallels 556 References 694 Albright, C., J.E. Maddock, and C.R. 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Mila’s Hike. 925 926 Figure 9. Liana’s Exercise Space. 927 928 Figure 10. Cheyenne’s Exercise Space. 929 930 List of Figures and Figure Captions 931 Figure 1. Aiyana Shoe Shopping. A selfie of Aiyana carrying her twins in infant carriers in a 932 shoe store. 933 Figure 2. Lara’s Yoga Mat. A yoga mat laying flat over a child’s play carpet with toys strewn on 934 and around it. 935 Figure 3. Heather’s Running Shoe. A running shoe that is worn with dirt and scuff marks on it. 936 Figure 4. Natalie Playing Squash with Baby. A baby seated in a stroller holding a squash racquet. 937 An emoji covers the baby’s face. 938 Figure 5. Yara’s Stationary Bike. Yara’s home exercise space where there is a training bike 939 facing her television and baby monitor. 940 Figure 6. Skye’s Hike. Skye going for a hike with her infant strapped to her front in a carrier. She 941 has stopped to look at a waterfall in the forest. 942 Figure 7. Sophie’s Run. A stroller stopped on a park path beside a dog on a leash. The weather is 943 gloomy, with puddles scattered along the path as rain mists through the park. 944 Figure 8. Mila’s Hike. A toddler walking down a forest path followed by an infant sitting in a 945 stroller. It is a sunny day. 946 Figure 9. Liana’s Exercise Space. A stationary bike sits on the side of a room. Around it is a 947 broom, an infant playmat, and an infant walker. 948 Figure 10. Cheyenne’s Exercise Space. A television is pictured with a workout bra draped over 949 it. Around the television is a set of weights, a yoga mat, a water bottle, a baby monitor, and a 950 child’s stuffed animal. 951