“Through the looking glass”: the emotional journey of the volunteer ethnographer when researching sensitive topics with vulnerable populations

Mas head Logo The Quali a i e Repo Volume 24 |Numbe 13 A icle 3 4-14-2019 “Th ough he Looking Glass”: The Emo ional Jou ney o he Volun ee E hnog aphe when Resea ching Sensi i e Topics wi h Vulne able Popula ions Fábio Ra ael Augus o Uni e sidade de Lisboa, abio.augus [email protected] Ana Pa ícia Hilá io Uni e sidade de Lisboa, pa iciahila [email protected] Follow his and addi ional wo ks a : h ps://nsuwo ks.no a.edu/ q Pa o he Quan i a i e, Quali a i e, Compa a i e, and His o ical Me hodologies Commons, and he Social S a is ics Commons This A icle is b ough o you o ee and open access by he The Quali a i e Repo a NSUWo ks. I has been accep ed o inclusion in The Quali a i e Repo by an au ho ized adminis a o o NSUWo ks. Fo mo e in o ma ion, please con ac nsuw[email p o ec ed]. Recommended APA Ci a ion Augus o, F. R., & Hilá io, A. P. (2019). “Th ough he Looking Glass”: The Emo ional Jou ney o he Volun ee E hnog aphe when Resea ching Sensi i e Topics wi h Vulne able Popula ions. The Quali a i e Repo ,24(13), 17-30. Re ie ed om h ps://nsuwo ks.no a.edu/ q / ol24/iss13/3 Quali a i e Resea ch G adua e Ce i ica e “Th ough he Looking Glass”: The Emo ional Jou ney o he Volun ee E hnog aphe when Resea ching Sensi i e Topics wi h Vulne able Popula ions Abs ac This pape ex ends u he esea ch on being bo h a olun ee and e hnog aphic esea che and in ends o o e some insigh s on he emo ional challenges o adop ing his dual ole when conduc ing esea ch on sensi i e opics and wi h ulne able popula ions. The discussion p esen ed he e d aws upon an e hnog aphic pa icipan obse a ion s udy o a ood edis ibu ion o ganiza ion (Re- ood) held in Lisbon, he capi al o Po ugal. The pape builds awa eness on he emo ional challenges in he ield and discusses po en ial sel - e lec i e s a egies o esea che s o cope wi h he ex ao dina y demands posed on hem by speci ic ci cums ances and subjec s. The olun ee e hnog aphe , when de eloping hei wo k, is subjec o a wide ange o emo ional challenges ha a e ela ed o he unc ions ha hey had o de elop in he esea ch con ex i sel due o hei dual ole, as well as o he ulne abili y o pa icipan s and he sensi i i y o he opic add essed. Keywo ds Volun ee E hnog aphe , Sensi i e Topics, Vulne able Subjec s, Emo ions, Food Po e y C ea i e Commons License This wo k is licensed unde a C ea i e Commons A ibu ion-Noncomme cial-Sha e Alike 4.0 License. Acknowledgemen s The PhD p ojec leading o hese esul s has ecei ed unding om he Eu opean Resea ch Council (ERC) unde he Eu opean Union’s Se en h F amewo k P og amme (FP7/2007-2013)/ERC g an ag eemen n° 337977 and om he Po uguese Founda ion o Science and Technology (FCT) h ough he Human Capi al Ope a ional P og amme (POCH) suppo ed by he Eu opean Social Fund (ESF) and na ional unds o he Po uguese Minis y o Science, Technology and Highe Educa ion (MCTES) wi h he e e ence SFRH/BD/ 130072/2017. This a icle is a ailable in The Quali a i e Repo : h ps://nsuwo ks.no a.edu/ q / ol24/iss13/3 The Quali a i e Repo 2019 Volume 24, Special Issue, A icle 3, 17-30 “Th ough he Looking Glass” 1 : The Emo ional Jou ney o he Volun ee E hnog aphe when Resea ching Sensi i e Topics wi h Vulne able Popula ions Fábio Ra ael Augus o and Ana Pa ícia Hilá io Ins i u o de Ciências Sociais, Uni e sidade de Lisboa, Po ugal This pape ex ends u he esea ch on being bo h a olun ee and e hnog aphic esea che and in ends o o e some insigh s on he emo ional challenges o adop ing his dual ole when conduc ing esea ch on sensi i e opics and wi h ulne able popula ions. The discussion p esen ed he e d aws upon an e hnog aphic pa icipan obse a ion s udy o a ood edis ibu ion o ganiza ion (Re- ood) held in Lisbon, he capi al o Po ugal. The pape builds awa eness on he emo ional challenges in he ield and discusses po en ial sel - e lec i e s a egies o esea che s o cope wi h he ex ao dina y demands posed on hem by speci ic ci cums ances and subjec s. The olun ee e hnog aphe , when de eloping hei wo k, is subjec o a wide ange o emo ional challenges ha a e ela ed o he unc ions ha hey had o de elop in he esea ch con ex i sel due o hei dual ole, as well as o he ulne abili y o pa icipan s and he sensi i i y o he opic add essed. Keywo ds: Volun ee E hnog aphe , Sensi i e Topics, Vulne able Subjec s, Emo ions, Food Po e y The me hodological challenges o conduc ing quali a i e, e hnog aphic esea ch on sensi i e opics has been widely discussed (Dickson-Swi , James, & Liampu ong, 2008). The e a e many in e p e a ions on wha cons i u es sensi i e esea ch, bu o he pu poses o his a icle we will use ha p oposed by Lee (1993) o whom i is he “ esea ch which po en ially poses a subs an ial h ea o hose who a e o ha e been in ol ed in i ” (Lee, 1993, p. 4). This no ion enables us o include he pa icipan s ha ake pa in he esea ch as well as he esea che s conduc ing he esea ch (Dickson-Swi , James, Kippen, & Liampu ong, 2008). Wo king on sensi i e opics migh also in ol e di ec con ac wi h ulne able subjec s (Johnson & Cla ke, 2003). The e m ulne able has been applied o people who expe ience “diminished au onomy due o physiological/psychological ac o s o s a us inequali ies” (Sil a, 1995, p. 15). This has been ex ended o people “who lack he abili y o make pe sonal li e choices, o make pe sonal decisions, o main ain independence, and no o sel -de e mine” (Moo e & Mille , 1999, p. 1034). This pape ex ends u he esea ch on being bo h a olun ee and e hnog aphic esea che (e.g., Ga hwai e, 2016) and in ends o o e some insigh s on he emo ional challenges o adop ing his dual ole when conduc ing esea ch on sensi i e opics and wi h ulne able popula ions. The discussion p esen ed he e d aws upon an e hnog aphic pa icipan obse a ion s udy o a ood edis ibu ion o ganiza ion (Re- ood) held in Lisbon, he capi al o Po ugal. The s udy is pa o a PhD p ojec 2 ha seeks o analyze h ee ood aid ini ia i es ope a ing in Po ugal (e.g., Re- ood, Food Bank and Social Can een) and he olun a y-bene icia y ela ionship. This analysis will make i possible o unde s and no only how hese ini ia i es wo k and he ela ional dynamics ha de elop wi hin hem, bu also o unde s and wha can be 1 This exp ession comes om he s o y “Th ough he looking glass” by Lewis Ca ol and is o en used in English language. 2 This pape is based on he esea ch ca ied ou by he i s au ho du ing his PhD in Sociology a he Ins i u o de Ciências Sociais, Uni e sidade de Lisboa (ICS-ULisboa), cu en ly suppo ed by he Po uguese Founda ion o Science and Technology (FCT). 18 The Quali a i e Repo 2019 done o mee he needs o hei s akeholde s/ac o s. Since he g oup o bene icia ies is subjec o labelling, exclusion, and s igma iza ion p ocesses by he unique, di icul phase hey a e acing in hei li es, i is conside ed app op ia e o discuss he ulne able g oup concep . Also, since he s udy ocuses on he phenomenon o po e y, pa icula ly ood po e y, issues ela ed o he sensi i i y o he opic eme ge. This dual le el - he ulne abili y o he pa icipan s and he sensi i i y o he opic - poses se e al challenges o he olun ee e hnog aphe . While he e is some wo k on he e hical and me hodological challenges o conduc ing e hnog aphic esea ch on sensi i e opics and wi h ulne able popula ions (e.g., Wa s, 2008; Wood ho pe, 2009), he e is li le in o ma ion a ailable abou he dilemmas aced by esea che s when adop ing he dual ole o he olun ee e hnog aphe (O’Conno & Bake , 2017). Tinney (2008) and Ga hwai e (2016) ha e discussed he ole o being bo h an inside and ou side , as well as he emo ional (de)a achmen o he ield when adop ing his dual ole, bu hey ha e no p o ided su icien insigh s on being a olun ee e hnog aphe in sensi i e con ex s and wi h ulne able subjec s. The in en ion o his pape is o o e come his gap and p o ide insigh s o esea che s who in end o adop he ole o he olun ee e hnog aphe when de eloping esea ch in sensi i e con ex s and/o wi h ulne able popula ions. Backg ound When conduc ing esea ch on sensi i e opics, we should bea in mind ha esea che s can be in a ulne able posi ion and may ind hemsel es in an emo ionally challenging e ain (Wa s, 2008). Al hough much has been said on he implica ions o unde aking quali a i e, sensi i e esea ch (Dickson-Swi , James, & Liampu ong, 2008), li le has been w i en on he p ac ical dilemmas aced by esea che s when hey adop he ole o bo h olun ee and e hnog aphe when s udying sensi i e opics o engaging wi h ulne able popula ions. Wi h a ew excep ions (Ga hwai e, 2016), much o wha is known abou olun ee e hnog aphy comes om he wo k o schola s wi hin he ield o quali a i e heal h esea ch. In he e hnog aphic wo k on he bodily expe iences o hospice pa ien s, Law on (2001) ou lined he di icul ies she encoun e ed because o he dual ole she adop ed. Al hough pa ien s had gi en hei o mal consen o obse a ional pu poses on hei admission o he hospice, his could no be aken o g an ed in all he encoun e s ha he esea che had wi h hem. Indeed, Law on no ed ha pa ien s on some occasions in e ac ed wi h he o emos in he ole as a olun ee , and he e o e she used he da a collec ed in a sensible, e hical, and e lexi e manne . When con on ed wi h he dilemma desc ibed by Law on in he e hnog aphic wo k on he e e yday li e o amilies o pa ien s wi h a li e- h ea ening illness, Ellis (2010) also used he mo al and emo ional sensibili ies o make decisions conce ning he obse a ions as a olun ee e hnog aphe in a B i ish hospice. The emo ional impac ha unde aking esea ch on sensi i e con ex s and wi h ulne able popula ions o a p olonged ime may ha e on he olun ee e hnog aphe was also spoken abou by hese au ho s, albei in a non- desc ip i e manne . The p olonged con ac wi h people who a e expe iencing in ense physical and/o emo ional su e ing may lead o p oblems wi h de achmen du ing and/o a e e hnog aphic ieldwo k (Law on, 2001). This was desc ibed by Wa s (2008) who, in he e hnog aphic pa icipan obse a ion s udy o a cance d op-in cen e , poin ed ou he need o bounda ies when conduc ing esea ch on sensi i e opics and wi h ulne able popula ions such as hose who a e su e ing om o ha e su e ed om cance . She sugges ed ha he need o bounda ies in ol es he c ea ion o “a sense o emo ional balance, aking ca e o be close, bu no oo close, o pa icipan s, ensu ing ha (we) can e ain he il e ing and dis illing unc ions ha a e co e o he agency o he quali a i e esea che when con eying he s o ies o pa icipan s” (Wa s, 2008, p. 9). When conduc ing esea ch in a space whe e dea h is engaged, Fábio Ra ael Augus o & Ana Pa ícia Hilá io 19 such as a ceme e y landscape, Wood ho pe (2009) had o d op some pa icipan /obse a ion as she had momen s o in imacy wi h he people in he ield si e, so he esea ch was becoming oo pe sonal. The emo ional in ensi y o he olun ee e hnog aphe ole was ou lined by Tinney (2008), who s essed he impo ance o main aining bounda ies so ha he esea che will no lose he necessa y dis ance om he esea ch se ing. A be (2006) also acknowledged he ensions o ha ing a dual ole when conduc ing e hnog aphic esea ch and desc ibed he emo ional labou o manage he challenges o being bo h an inside and an ou side . The nego ia ion o emo ions and a achmen as Ga hwai e (2016) desc ibed is pa o he “ olun ee e hnog aphe jou ney” (2016, p. 69). The expe ience o conduc ing e hnog aphic wo k has been augh wi h many challenges, some o which ha e al eady been desc ibed in he li e a u e. The p ac ical dilemmas aced by he olun ee e hnog aphe and he de elopmen o emo ional p o ec ion s a egies when s udying opics wi h a sensi i e na u e and/o engaging in esea ch wi h ulne able popula ions has ecei ed li le a en ion and hus would bene i om u he explo a ion. Me hodology O e iew o he S udy Al hough ood aid ini ia i es ha e a long his o y and ha e become ex emely impo an in c isis con ex s in Po ugal and elsewhe e - such as he in e na ional economic c isis o 2008 - hey ha e also been he objec o se e al c i icisms ela ed o: i) he legi imiza ion o he neolibe al model; ii) he dependence o hei bene icia ies; iii) he nu i ional inadequacy o dona ed oods; and i ) he ex en o which hey a e in ac p omo ing human digni y (Mi osa, Main il, Ho ne, & Magan-Walke , 2016; Vlaholias, Thompson, E e y, & Dawson, 2015a). E en i hese ini ia i es do no always sol e he sou ce o p oblems, hey end up mobilizing a signi ican numbe o human and inancial esou ces. Thus, i is impo an o ( e) hink abou hese ini ia i es o o e come hei ulne abili ies. The s udy which his a icle d aws upon seeks o unde s and and highligh he s a egies ha can be adop ed o make hese ini ia i es mee he eal needs o i s ac o s. A quali a i e esea ch app oach was adop ed. Pa icipan obse a ion will be complemen ed by semi-s uc u ed in e iews. Th ough pa icipan obse a ion - namely he p ac ice o olun ee ing - he esea che will be able o unde s and he ela ional dynamics be ween olun ee s and bene icia ies and c ea e a ela ionship o p oximi y ha would make i possible o conduc semi-s uc u ed in e iews. Pa icipan s The s udy ocuses on bene icia ies and olun ee s om h ee ood aid ini ia i es ope a ing in Po ugal (i.e., Re- ood, Food Bank and Social Can een). These ini ia i es: i) a e a di e en s ages o he ins i u ionaliza ion p ocess; ii) ac a na ional le el; and iii) ep esen he main models o ood aid in Po ugal. To gua an ee he anonymi y o he pa icipan s, i was conside ed ele an no o disclose he places whe e he olun ee ing occu s and o only men ion ha he s udy ocuses on cen e s o he ini ia i es loca ed in he dis ic o Lisbon. Pa icipan obse a ion, h ough olun ee ing, occu ed wice a week (4h) o a pe iod o h ee mon hs in each o he ini ia i es. Re- ood was he i s ini ia i e o be con ac ed, and he olun ee wo k ook place om Feb ua y o Ap il 2018. Thi een semi-s uc u ed in e iews will be ca ied ou in each o he ood aid ini ia i es (6 olun ee s, 6 bene icia ies and 1 di ec o ), ha is, a o al o 39 in e iews (18 olun ee s, 18 bene icia ies and 3 di ec o s). The in e iewees will be selec ed h ough a con as echnique (Gue a, 2006), aiming o c ea e 20 The Quali a i e Repo 2019 a mosaic sample ha cap u es he di e si y o his popula ion, a icula ing gene al a iables (e.g., gende , age and amily ype) wi h speci ic a iables (e.g., expec a ions, isions and p ac ices ega ding ood aid ini ia i es and he ela ions inhe en o hem). Fo he cu en s udy, we will ocus on he e hnog aphic esea ch al eady de eloped in Re- ood and he challenges ha eme ged in he con ac wi h he ield. Volun a y wo k he e in ol ed he di ec dis ibu ion o ood o he bene icia ies and, he e o e, made i possible o explo e he ini ia i e i sel as well as he olun ee -bene icia y ela ionship. P ocedu e In he nego ia ion phase o en y in o he ood aid ini ia i e, he objec i es o he esea ch we e explained o he ounde and all legal and in o ma i e documen s we e made a ailable, namely: i) desc ip ion o he p ojec ; ii) in o med consen ; iii) in e iew sc ip s; and i ) coope a ion p o ocol. All hese documen s we e submi ed o he E hics Commi ee o ICS- ULisboa (hos ins i u ion o he PhD p ojec ). The coope a ion p o ocol, signed by he esea che and he pe son in cha ge o he ini ia i e, included a b ie desc ip ion o he p ojec and a se o e ms ha egula ed he es ablished ag eemen . In he case o he esea che , he p oposes o: i) collabo a e, as a olun ee , wi h he ood aid ini ia i e; ii) sha e and p esen o he ood aid ini ia i e he esul s o i s in es iga ion unde he anonymiza ion o he pa icipan s; and iii) in ol e all s akeholde s in he dissemina ion o he p ojec esul s. In he case o he pe son in cha ge, he/she p oposes o: i) p o ide he necessa y condi ions o he esea che o pe o m olun ee ing; ii) p o ide he condi ions necessa y o he esea che o selec and con ac he bene icia ies and olun ee s o he ood aid ini ia i e o semi-s uc u ed in e iews; and iii) assis in media ion be ween he bene icia ies and olun ee s and he esea che . A e his nego ia ion phase, olun ee ing s a ed. Bo h he bene icia ies and olun ee s we e in o med by he esea che ha he in es iga ion was aking place. The in o ma ion p o ided was based on h ee key poin s: i) explana ion o he p ojec ; ii) explana ion o he dual ole adop ed by he esea che ; and iii) explana ion o he commi men made o he o ganiza ion h ough i s ounde . Then, e bal consen was eques ed om bene icia ies and olun ee s o conduc he s udy. Asking o w i en consen om esea ch pa icipan s o obse a ion did no appea o be he bes op ion due o he ac ha signing a con ac is no ypical amongs Po uguese socie y unless he “issue in ques ion is se ious and ha b eaking o du ies can lead o se e e consequences o he pa ies in ol ed” (São José & Teixei a, 2013, p. 56). Findings The Dual Role o Being Bo h a Volun ee and E hnog aphe E hnog aphy has been one o he mos widely used me hods o da a collec ion wi hin he ield o social sciences, pa icula ly o sociology (Cha maz & Oleson, 1997). Th ough e hnog aphy social scien is s can cap u e he na u e o a speci ic social se ing (Delamon , 2004), as well as he meanings a ibu ed o indi iduals o hei own expe iences (Fielding, 2008) wi hou dis u bing he in e nal dynamic o he place whe e he esea ch is being conduc ed and making ex ao dina y demands on he subjec s unde s udy (Law on, 2001). Thus, esea ch on sensi i e opics and/o wi h ulne able popula ions o en d aws upon he e hnog aphic me hod (e.g., Wa s, 2008; Wood ho pe, 2009). E hnog aphy has also been widely used o conduc esea ch wi hin o ganiza ions (O’Conno & Bake , 2017). Indeed, being able o obse e he in e nal logic o a gi en o ganiza ion h ough he a icula ion o pa icipan obse a ion wi h he p ac ice o olun ee ing is a possibili y ha has seduced some esea che s Fábio Ra ael Augus o & Ana Pa ícia Hilá io 21 (e.g., Ma in, 2014; Me ell & Williams, 1994; Wa s, 2011). This was he case o Vlaholias, Thompson, E e y, and Dawson (2015b), who in hei s udy on ood aid ini ia i es adop ed he ole o he olun ee e hnog aphe o unde s and he ela ional dynamics ha a e es ablished wi hin i . The e m olun ee e hnog aphe was used by Ga hwai e (2016) o desc ibe he dual ole in a ood bank o ganiza ion. Volun ee e hnog aphy ope a es on a ecip ocal basis, since esea che s dona e hei ime in exchange o in o ma ion o he de elopmen o hei esea ch. As such, i is a iable al e na i e o bo h he esea che s, who ha e he possibili y o ecip oca e, and he o ganiza ions (O’Conno & Bake , 2017). This is pa icula ly in e es ing in he con ex o ood aid ini ia i es, as h ough he imme sion in he ield, due o hei ole as olun ee s, esea che s can be e unde s and “ he complexi ies o ood bank use and he li ed expe ience o ood po e y and insecu i y” (Ga hwai e, 2016, p. 63). While some e hnog aphic esea ch has been conduc ed wi hin ood aid ini ia i es (e.g., Salonen, 2016; Ta asuk & Eakin, 2003; Williams, Cloke, May, & Goodwin, 2016), ew schola s excep o Vlaholias, Thompson, E e y, and Dawson (2015b) and Ga hwai e (2016) emb aced he dual ole o olun ee e hnog aphe . Th ough olun ee e hnog aphy, esea che s gain a p i ileged access o he dynamics ha occu bo h on he on s age and he back s age (Be ge , 2017; Bu gess, 1997). An impo an poin o be made is ha he esea che ’s social posi ion, age, and sex can in luence he es ablishmen o ela ionships in he ield and da a collec ion (Be ge , 2017). In he con ex o he cu en s udy, and pa icula ly, o he Re- ood ini ia i e, he le el o imme sion and in ol emen o he olun ee e hnog aphe a ies acco ding o he g oup ha he obse es and in e ac s wi h. As men ioned p e iously, one o he main objec i es o he PhD p ojec is o analyze he dynamics o he olun ee -bene icia y ela ionship, so i is impo an o analyze bo h he olun ee and he bene icia y g oup. Thus, he obse a ion occu ed a wo le els: as a olun ee who obse es olun ee s and as a olun ee who obse es bene icia ies. In he i s case, he le el o in ol emen and imme sion is g ea e since he esea che pe o ms he same ac i i ies as he o he olun ee s (Sp adley, 1980) and spends he whole olun ee ime wi h hem; in he second, since he in e ac ion is es ic ed by he ime ha in ol es he se ice (i.e., ood dona ion), he le el o imme sion and in ol emen ends up being smalle . Mo eo e , since he esea che is no in he same (disad an aged) posi ion as he bene icia ies, he e a e si ua ions in which he is one o he o he s, wi h whom ce ain bene icia ies ha e con lic s de i ed mainly om he ea men hey ecei e in he ini ia i e (e.g., wai ing ime and how hey a e se ed) and he ood hey ecei e om i in e ms o quali y, quan i y and di e si y. Following his ain o hough , a ques ion a ises on how o c ea e p oximi y wi h a ulne able g oup and add ess sensi i e issues when he olun ee s a us c ea es dis ance wi h ce ain bene icia ies. On he one hand, he olun ee s a us allows he esea che o en e in o he ield and build appo wi h he g oup o olun ee s; on he o he hand, i can con ibu e o c ea ing dis ance wi h he g oup o bene icia ies. In he Re- ood case, e en hough he olun ee s a us has u ned some bene icia ies o and es ic ed hei pa icipa ion in he s udy, i allowed a us ing ela ionship o be c ea ed wi h o he bene icia ies which: (i) gene ally had a good ela ionship wi h he olun ee s o he ini ia i e; (ii) saw beyond he olun ee ole o he esea che and el com o able in sha ing aspec s o hei li e wi h him; and/o (iii) unde s ood ha he esea che had a dual ole and he e o e was able o dis inguish he esea che om he olun ee . Since he numbe o bene icia ies in e es ed in pa icipa ing in he in e iew phase allowed he equi emen s o he s udy o be me , i was no conside ed necessa y o ollow ano he pa h which in ol ed he b eaking o some oles and he combina ion o bo h app oxima ion and dis ance s a egies o each as many bene icia ies as possible. This pa h would e en ually equi e he esea che o olun ee as a way o en e ing he ins i u ion and, 22 The Quali a i e Repo 2019 a e es ablishing appo , would enable he ec ui men o bene icia ies and end hei pa icipa ion as a olun ee - he e o e lea ing he dual ole and p esen ing himsel o pa icipan s as an ex e nal elemen o he ini ia i e. Due o ime cons ain s in he cu en s udy, i was decided no o ollow his pa h, albei i could i sel be a alid op ion. Ano he issue ha may a ise when esea che s adop he olun ee s a us is how hey should manage he p io i ies o hei dual ole. On he one hand, as a esea che , hey mus accomplish he esea ch goals hey had de ined; on he o he hand, as a olun ee , hey mus mee he objec i es p oposed by he o ganiza ion. The managemen o hese wo oles implies ha olun ee e hnog aphe s should be ex emely awa e o he eali y ha su ounds hem and a one and he same ime hey mus ul il hei ole as a olun ee . When es ablishing a commi men o an o ganiza ion such as Re- ood, esea che s should bea in mind ha he olun ee s a us is no jus a means o an end. Tha is, olun ee ing canno be unde s ood as a mask ha esea che s use o mee hei esea ch needs. Resea che s should inco po a e he ole o olun ee and manage as bes as possible hei esea ch objec i es. In he con ex o Re- ood, he p io i y was o mee he ood needs o he bene icia ies, which made i possible o analyze he olun ee -bene icia y ela ionship, bu he esea che only in e ac ed mo e ex ensi ely wi h he bene icia ies when olun ee ing allowed i . This means ha he esea che had o manage he in e ac ion ha he had wi h he bene icia ies and his ole as a olun ee . Only a imes when he ini ia i e had ew bene icia ies was i possible o he esea che o p olong his in e ac ion wi h hem. In sho , assuming he dual ole o esea che and olun ee implies esponding o dis inc bu in e ela ed objec i es om he esea ch and he o ganiza ion. Thus esea che s who adop he olun ee e hnog aphy ole should seek o ul il hei esea ch objec i es - which led hem o in e ac wi h he o ganiza ion - and uly inco po a e he s a us o olun ee , ul illing hei du ies o he o ganiza ion and, mo e impo an ly, o he bene icia ies. The Volun ee E hnog aphe Emo ional Jou ney Emo ion has been acknowledged as an impo an pa o human li e and i has been ecognised ha a undamen al aspec o being human is he capaci y o eel and show emo ion (Gilbe , 2001). The impo ance o looking a hei own and o he s’ emo ions when conduc ing esea ch on sensi i e opics has been widely documen ed (Dickson-Swi , James, Kippen, & Liampu ong, 2008). The powe lessness and us a ion el by Mel ose (2002) in he s udy on ju enile p os i u ion and he guil , ange , ou age and so ow exp essed by he no ice esea che s in Malac ida’s (2007) s udy on he challenges and ewa ds o mo he ing when disabled a e illus a i e o he emo ionali y o he esea ch encoun e . Rage (2005) epo ed how he esea ch a ec ed he well-being as she had expe ienced psychosoma ic symp oms like b eas pain, abdominal pain, and diges i e p oblems du ing da a collec ion. Rage desc ibed his as compassion s ess and indica ed he s a egies she de eloped o cope wi h such an emo ionally demanding expe ience. Rage (2005), in he s udy on sel - di ec ed lea ning o women wi h b eas cance , used psychological counselling, jou nal w i ing, pee deb ie ing, and elaxa ion echniques o minimise he impac o en e ing an emo ionally d aining ield. The impo ance o he use o sel -ca e s a egies was also ou lined by Valen ine (2007) on he s udy on he expe iences o be ea emen in con empo a y B i ain. Valen ine s essed ha “we canno always know in ad ance wha will p o e sensi i e, ha is po en ially h ea ening and in usi e” (2007, p. 161). Thus, i is in he encoun e and in e ac ion wi h he o he ha he esea che s will be able o unde s and he emo ional impac ha he esea ch may ha e on hemsel es and pa icipan s. The adop ion o a sel - e lexi e app oach and he de elopmen o sel - e lexi e ools is key o unde s anding he sensi i e na u e o he da a collec ed (Valen ine, 2007; Vince , Fábio Ra ael Augus o & Ana Pa ícia Hilá io 23 2018). As Wood ho pe (2009) poin ed ou : “Re lexi i y hus o e s he esea che he oppo uni y o c i ically unpack hei own assump ions and expec a ions, openly accoun o hei pa icula in e p e a ion(s), and e lec on hei successes and ailu es” (2009, p. 73). Following his ain o hough , McQueeney and La elle (2017) poin ed ou ha emo ional e lexi i y helped o “media e he nega i e e ec s o emo ional labou ” in he sense ha i enabled o “ u n unwan ed emo ions in o analy ic insigh s” (2017, p. 87). Hol an, S aandy, and E iksen (2014), in hei s udy on child and amily con ac wi h child p o ec ion au ho i ies in No way, desc ibed how he acknowledgmen o he emo ions expe ienced by he esea che s enabled hem o gain a deepe insigh o he phenomenon unde analysis, ha is, o be mo e e lec i e and anspa en . D awing upon hei expe ience o conduc ing quali a i e esea ch wi h women who mo he child en wi h disabili y, eme ald and Ca pen e (2015) ha e simila ly ou lined how knowledge sensed h ough o by emo ions helped hem o ha e a be e unde s anding o hese women’s li ing expe iences. As poin ed ou by Hubba d, Backe -Milbu n, and Kemme (2001), emo ionally-sensed knowledge is key in he esea ch p ocess and helps o enhance ou comp ehension o he social wo ld. When conduc ing esea ch, pa icula ly on sensi i e opics, and wi h po en ially ulne able subjec s, emo ionally challenging expe iences migh ake place wi hou wa ning, and i is c ucial o esea che s o be p epa ed o his deg ee o unp edic abili y (Hubba d, Backe -Milbu n, & Kemme , 2001). In he Re- ood case, he e we e si ua ions ha caused emo ional dis ess o he esea che . Indeed, he con ac wi h he bene icia ies in ol ed a g ea di e si y o si ua ions ha implied di e en le els o in ol emen and emo ional exhaus ion on he pa o he esea che . I was possible o ind h ee ecu en si ua ions ha s ood ou and made he de elopmen o ieldwo k and he managemen o emo ions di icul . This was pa icula ly e iden in si ua ions wi h hese di e en ypes o bene icia ies: (i) he bene icia ies I wan mo e; (ii) he upse /ang y bene icia ies; and (iii) he bene icia ies’ s o y elle s. In a simila way o Li and A be (2006) in hei s udy on how nu ses cons uc pa ien s’ mo al iden i ies, we used “obse ed emo ions as esou ces o in e p e ( he bene icia ies) demeanou and beha iou ” (2006, p. 27). The bene icia ies I wan mo e e e s o hose who a ely lea e he ini ia i e sa is ied wi h he ood hey ake home as hey end o complain abou he quan i y, quali y, o di e si y o he goods ha a e dona ed. These bene icia ies imply a ha d nego ia ion on he pa o he olun ee e hnog aphe , as he epea edly had o explain ha he ood dona ed is no unlimi ed and ha he mus be ai o all bene icia ies. O en, he olun ee e hnog aphe akes mo e ime o a end o hese bene icia ies, mainly due o hei insis ence on mo e and be e ood. The beha iou p esen ed by his g oup o bene icia ies caused some emo ional dis ess o he esea che due no only o hei need o cons an nego ia ion, bu also because when adop ing his olun ee ole, he esea che ends up denying ood o people who a e in a si ua ion o ex eme ulne abili y. This aised some e hical and mo al dilemmas since, on he one hand, Re- ood seeks o comba ood was e and ood po e y; on he o he hand, he esea che as a olun ee el obliged o es ic some access o ood in o de o ensu e ha all bene icia ies ecei e he same amoun o ood in acco d o he same c i e ia. In addi ion, a gumen s such as: bu my amily needs his ood o i hey a e he e o help people, hey should gi e mo e ood e en ually lead he olun ee e hnog aphe o e lec on his ole and ques ion he way he ac s in he ini ia i e. The con ex ualisa ion o emo ions (McQueeney & La elle, 2017) by gi ing ligh o he socio-economic dep i ed con ex o he bene icia ies helped o ease si ua ions o emo ional dis ess and o explain hei a i udes and beha iou s. In he second case, he olun ee e hnog aphe is aced wi h he ype o bene icia ies who a i e a he ini ia i e al eady upse o ang y and who o en complain o mis akes ha ha e been made in he pas by o he olun ee s, ype o ood dona ed, he condi ions unde 30 The Quali a i e Repo 2019 Science and Technology (FCT) h ough he Human Capi al Ope a ional P og amme (POCH) suppo ed by he Eu opean Social Fund (ESF) and na ional unds o he Po uguese Minis y o Science, Technology and Highe Educa ion (MCTES) wi h he e e ence SFRH/BD/130072/2017. Copy igh 2019: Fábio Ra ael Augus o, Ana Pa ícia Hilá io, and No a Sou heas e n Uni e si y. A icle Ci a ion Augus o, F. R., & Hilá io, A. P. (2019). Th ough he looking glass: The emo ional jou ney o he olun ee e hnog aphe when esea ching sensi i e opics wi h ulne able popula ions. The Quali a i e Repo , 24(13), 17-30. Re ie ed om h ps://nsuwo ks.no a.edu/ q / ol24/iss13/3